mY LiFe...

MIA & Back Again...

2009-11-30T14:52:00.003+08:00

Time flies... It's been months since the last update..

Our ROM was over, found a new part-time job, results released, sch started for 2 months already... Woohoo...

Our ROM was nice & fun... Received many blessings from friends & family... Glad that things went smoothly even though planning didn't take more than a month. Everything was in a rush, rings, venue, food, invitations, decorations, gown, shirt, etc etc... A wild June for me & darling... But everything was worth it, cuz all planning was done by us & we had fun though we've had our fair share of arguments & disagreement along the way, but tt's the way it shld b!

Shortly after the ROM was over, i found myself a job in a call centre.. Sucky job but i stayed on till today as they allowed part-timers on weekday & working hours are quite alright.. Pay wise, it's rather standard.. But no wkends for me cuz the pay is still the usual rate, rather slack w darling or frens than to work.

Results came out in mid sept, rather late this yr... Well, kinda unexpected results, only passed 1 subj & it was the one which I thot i'll fail.. Rather, the one I expect myself to pass, I failed quite badly... Sighzzzz... By hook or by crook, I need to finish my last yr in 2010, can't afford to slack for any longer as we need to get a house, car, baby, etc etc... Therefore, I've decided to go with 5 subj... Took up 3 subj which I nv thot I would be interested in but heck la, I just needed to pass.. And if it's easier to pass, y not?!

Sch started juz 1/2 wk after the results came out... 3 days of sch for me.. Mon, Tues & Fri... I've been going for tues classes but nt mon & fri.. I shld really buck up... Haven been submitting assignments & tests since last year, but was forced to do so this yr as no submission means no answers!! Damn... So here I am, trying hard to write my 1st assignment for ISORG.. I've already missed the 1st, which means no answers for Tut1 & Assignment 1.. I tink I'm kinda lost in writting long essay of 1000words... Seems like "copy & paste" is what I am doing... Haha... Never mind la, at least I'm picking up the knowledge of the subject while writting the essay..

I'm trying to login to HDB page now.. Have been waiting ages for the results to be released!! We tried the Sale of Balance flats ballot & hoped to get a gd que num... But I guess it wun be the case as most of the cases I've heard have tried many many times b4 & are still trying... Anyway, we saw 1 flat in tampines that is of our almost ideal choice & it isn't that ex.. At least we still can afford it thou I'm not working yet... We tried house hunting in the resale market, but the COV is really a killer. The prop market is doing so well that everyone is selling their flat but asking for super high COV. This just turns the young couple or first timers like us away from the resale market to the BTO or even DBSS released from HDB. I rather get rejected by HDB than pay 30K COV!!! I really dun understand how ppl can fork out 20k or 30k juz for the COV.. I'd rather spend tt on renovation.

So aim now is to get a house, start mugging hard for exams, go for classes dilligently & to stop over-spending on food. Haha.. Saving money is a crucial thing to do, as many more committments are coming.. BKK & Samui trip, Bridal package, wedding dinner, honeymoon trip, misc for house, car, "baby-savings" & many many more wedding related stuff... Wedding is really a huge committment, not only the r/s between 2 person, but the whole lot of preparation work, money involve, ppl involve, etc etc.... Thinking of it makes me frustrated at times... Better stop thinking about it...

I need to carry on w my assignment.. Concentrate...

So till then, tk care people! :)

Counting down

2009-06-05T21:55:00.002+08:00

Yup, i'm counting down everyday.. Another 22 days to really slim down, get the face clear, research, plan, DIY, source, etc etc.. Gonna be damn bz! Hopefully things can go smoothly and happily! Haha....

Yup, if you've guessed it! I'm getting legally married to Mr Chen this month! Customary wise will come later, so we're only considered fiance & fiancee. Haha!

Friends asked if I'm happy! Oh well, I just find it too shocking, stress and a little shy about it. Happy, hmmm, maybe when it gets nearer, I may be.. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy about the whole thing, just that you cant see happiness shown on my face as time is running out!

It is overall a simple event but we wanna make it as memorable & beautiful as possible. Of course, there's a budget that we have to adhere to... :( So many many DIY stuff gotta be involved.. So glad that my bunch of friends are ever so ready to help out! Feel so touched!!! Thank you all, u know who u are.... Glad that we're all meeting up before my big day, let's have a little party!! Haha..
For friends who weren't invited, sorry but it is a little rushy and due to budget constraint, only a few closer frens and family members were invited! I'll invited the rest of you for the wedding dinner, ya?! :)

Well well, wish me luck in the preparation & the jian fei ji hua! More updates whenever I can! Hopefully with photos too.. Haha...

Being positive helps???

2009-05-13T19:04:00.002+08:00

Haiz.. I thought it's gonna be easy. But I was so wrong. It will not be easy and probably might be very very difficult. More obstacles to come, more disagreements, more people involve, more voices heard, more things to plan, more cork-ups, etc etc etc... It only makes me less keen to move on, less interested to research, less excited to plan..... I wonder how I should take it. I'm a stubborn person, everyone who knows me well knows that. I have my say, my stand, my views, my thoughts. Yes, selfish is a better word to describe me. Stubborn and selfish, I should jolly well detach myself away from all of them. I'm more of a harm than good. Yeah, I should have known.... I really should.

But I thought I should be positive. I thought things might just go the way I wanted it to. I really thought so! But I have never thought that there are always 2 sides of human. All along I thought they won't be a problem, because they seem so easy-going, things shouldn't be too difficult or complicated when it comes to them. So wrong, very wrong, super wrong.... Probably this is a big issue, that's why people tend to behave different from usual, but isn't it a bit too different? Maybe I'm not in the position to comment as I don't live with them nor know them too well, but it's affecting me. It's affecting so badly that I'm reconsidering my decision. Because I would think I am better off alone.

But the irony thing is, one actually told me to be happy. Just be happy and don't have to care what others say. True, very true! Totally agree. But it doesn't seems that one actually practise what he preach. Or maybe I haven reach the stage where I can see this. But if I can't even overcome the current obstacle, how can I ever reach that stage?! Haha... Complicated...

I really should get my mind off these and concentrate on exams... But knowing me, I just can't leave things hanging.. Because it'll just 'hang' on my mind too!

Anyway, things aside... I've just 'kill' 1 paper today! Yes! 2 more to go.. Low morale but still can go on.. Haha.. Macro is really a killer. I was so stress that I really din want to go for exams. But still, why waste money? Maybe I can just pass??? I really do hope so, but chances are low....... :( But I still hope for a miracle to happen! Cuz macro is changing syllabus next yr, I really do not wish to retake it cuz I heard it's tougher.. Well well, no point brooding over it since it's over! Just gotta wait for results.

Next paper is on next thurs. CF! Haha.. Haven started anything on this. But I shall keep the momentum to study probably from tonight onwards, do not wish to have another blow.. Wish me luck...

Study study study.........

2009-04-20T11:21:00.002+08:00

Exams time!

Haven been studying as hard as last yr! Damn! I tink I'm gonna flop all 3 papers tis yr.. Feel like giving up... But i noe i cant.... I have to smhw get it thru... Which i duno hw....

It muz be the LAZY factor & it's like lazy^10!!! Hun oso has exams tis wk, 3 papers too, but guess wat? He haven even started on anything!!!! We planned to study tgt during wkend, but ended up in Mind Cafe on fri nite & surfing net on sat. Sun was even worse, we went for a singing session!!! So sinful!!! Nonetheless, ktv was fun! Haha... Hun enjoyed his beer & singing while I indulge in choosing songs to sing...

Anyway, I've gotta get rid of the lazy^10 to prob lazy^1 from today onwards! Else, i'll nv be able to sit dw & mug..... But how? God knows....

Wish me luck.... Haha!

Lazy Sunday..

2009-04-05T19:00:00.003+08:00

Am struck with the flu bug.. Feel so drowsy the whole day... And hun went KL for his biz trip.. Sianz... Having exams in may but I haven really started studying. I'm so lazy this year, duno why.. I'm thinking I wun pass all modules!!! Sucks!!

I think I really have to force myself to stop watching HK drama serials & really start mugging.... Should tell myself there's no more "TOMORROW" for studying, else I'll nv get started..

~~Rewind~~
Came bk from KL trip on monday.. Juz a short getaway tgt w hun, ling & the bf... Nothing much in KL as usual. Only shopping, dining & massage.. Massage was a first time thing for me, cuz it's foot reflexology.. It does help tired feets to feel very good after a 1hr session. But still, it's damn painful la!! Ling & I both agreed that KL is a damn cheap plc for "restaurant dining"! For the same price in different currency, we can eat double share! Really enjoyed tt part.. Shopping wise is really nt tt great, well, at least I dun tink it fits my style.. I always come bk empty handed, but the 3 of them each got smth. Hun & Ling's bf got specs & it's damn damn cheap! Good plc to get specs done!! Ling got apparels for siblings & some local food stuff. Well, nt too bad for them! But I think the next trip to KL, I would prefer to go Sunway Lagoon!!! It's been 10+ yrs since I went there.... Haha!! But I think tt can wait, cuz we still have 2 more trips coming up this yr! Tight schedule & wallets!!! Can't wait for exams to end so that I can go bk to work to lighten up Hun's burden & to save up for the trip!
~~

I was looking at some recommendation for ROM event. Found a nice place in SG, very alike to ang-moh wedding. Outdoor, sea-facing! And has indoor & outdoor dining area. Nice & cheap i tink! I enjoy doing research on such stuff but I really haven thot abt the future. Funny me... I''m also thinking of going for those wedding shows/events juz to see wat ppl gotta plan & save up for wedding! Haha... Sounds fun! But it's more for the fun than reality part. Haha...

Nevertheless, seems like everyone tinks we're going to get married for sure. It's funny how they think things shld fall into plc in this way. But well, maybe tt's the truth, I don't know yet.. But 1 thing for sure, I really wanna have a BABY!!! Juz the thot of having one thrills me! Haha.. Tis is juz in me since young, I love babies & it'll be perfect if I have my own! Cute!!!

Haha.. Reading what I've wrote, I can only say 1 word abt myself.

!!Contradicting!! ;p

Birthday "Week"

2009-03-16T23:21:00.002+08:00

Belated post for the week of my birthday...

Birthday celebration was great!! Had fun w frens, family & nt forgetting darling! Haha... Thanks for the all the SURPRISES & presents!! Esp to darling, wat a "luxurious" celebration tis year.. Thank you... As for the answer u want, i guess it'll take a while loh... ;P Be patient!!

Kinda lazy to write abt the celebration... Probably will do so some other time.. Haha...

Bye 2008 & Dad...

2009-03-05T13:56:00.002+08:00

It's been a real long break from blogger...

Haven had time. Last quarter of 2008 has been really a bz one.... But nw it's all quiet agn...

My dad went up to "heaven" mid dec last yr.. We all hope he's happier there.. No more pain, no more sorrows, no more cancer.... It's a pity that he can't see anyone of us get married & I guess this is one of his greatest regret. Yup, he's still considered young. Haven even near retirement age and he's gone...

For the past 1 yr plus, he's been battling w cancer. He went thru chemotherapy, radio therapy, took chemo med, took morphine, took steroids, etc etc... Everything was to kill his cancer cells & GOOD cells... We all thot he'll get well. But we can nv under-estimate the power of cancer. It spreads, very fast... It recurs, very fast.... Even today, such a hi-tech world w advance science development, nothing can fight cancer, the NUMBER ONE killer...

We've all heard it and now seen it. It's scary to see hw an once big & strong man can fall so badly wen cancer is controlling him. Really, nothing is more important than health. Only to be in healthy state, den can you achieve what u want in life or maybe to simply just walk on ur own. We all know this very well but how many of us really does practise it??

---

I've always enjoyed being in my current state, but nw, I feel it's a bit too quiet. No matter hw bad or good our r/s used to be, I do miss them... But I know this is only temporary. We'll meet again... Till then, here's a song which I love v much & says exactly hw I feel...

"mute" huh?!

2008-09-16T09:34:00.005+08:00

Sm people is juz simply rude!! I hate it wen he juz stands behind like a GHOST w/o making any sound! As if I have eyes on my back! WTF??!! It's always the case. Bloody B******!!! Makes my blood boil man.. Gosh! U're nt even mute, dun u noe hw to make a sound? Or do u wanna peep @ wat others are doing? F*** loh! Super digusting fella! And do u hav to stand super near wen u r talking to me?! I dun care if u do tt to others, but NOT ME!! U tink u r so funny, so man, so cool izit? Oh my goodness, u juz look like a big fat disgusting living thing to me! Only those aunties here will laugh @ watever u r saying, but I seriously tink they r juz giving u face!!!

Sh*t la! I'm being so crude loh, all becuz of tis stupid man! I shld have told u off juz now. The words were already at the mouth, juz tt I gave u face! I hope u can see it thru my action! I'm nt gonna b any nicer to u today! Cuz u spoil my morn!

Streetdirectory is BACK!!!!

2008-08-28T12:17:00.002+08:00

Yes! Since 1st Aug, it is back with new features! OMG!!!! I've been waiting for this day loh... Finally, the most comprehensive directory is re-launched. Happy!! No more crappy websites that doesn't provide any information except the map! Like as if it's damn useful.......

~~~

I wonder if the shop I wanna go in Bugis Village is open now. I haven had a gd time since I saw the dresses... But I dun wanna tk a risk to go dw & see the shutters still shut... Maybe I should just concentrate nw & go after work.. But it's kinda hard la... I'm worried smone may just buy it!!! Shouldn't have hestitated ytd... Stupid me! Argh, watever! Leave it to fate~~~

Exam results

2008-08-26T11:37:00.002+08:00

Oh, I saw that results have been releasssssssssssssssed!!! It is on the way to my mailbox. I wonder how I fare. I pray & hope I can pass FI........

Waraku de Pasta

2008-08-26T11:09:00.002+08:00

Had another expensive dinner @ Waraku de Pasta last evening. But the food & dessert is juz so delicious! But I tink the serving of the pasta was small. I tink I'll go for the "upsize" pasta the nx time round. Haha... We spent about $50+ for 2 pasta, 1 side & 1 dessert. Took some pics of the food we ordered but sm were already eaten cuz I'm too hungry.. ;P Anyway, both darling & I enjoyed the food, but as usual, he can't stop saying he wants to go back again soon...

--------------
23.08.08
Celebrated darling's birthday in advance. Initially wanted to watch 'Death Racer' but as the rain gets heavier, we decided to just slack @ hm till dinner time... But we ended up slping the afternoon away. Haha! Rainy days always make ppl lazy..... Not to mention we r lazy by nature! Haha... We only left hse ard 6 & took a cab to Odeon towers. But the stupid cab driver say he can't stop us @ the tower & ask us to walk from Carlton Hotel which is just beside it. I tink he is just finding excuses cuz I did saw a small alley beside the tower where he can just let us alight!! But watever, we just alight & walk to the japanese restaurant for our sumptous buffet dinner!

Hanabi is the name of the restaurant. Nice place with super efficient staff & definitely great food! We enjoyed the food very much until we tried to eat sashimi!!! Well, both of us dun take sashimi but we thot we can try the mixed platter... Wrong move! Cuz we were practically swallowing the raw fish slices w lotsa wasabi & soy sauce...... But still, the other cooked food are yummy! I like the chawanmushi & ramen. Too bad we din try too much sushi, only the soft shell crab tamaki. Darling said the rice of the sushi is kinda different from other sushi places, but I can't really make out the difference. Haha.. Nevertheless, it's tasty! We ate for like an hour plus & was so full that we didn't want to move..... But we can't, cuz we had to go to the next place for our chill out session w Weiling & the bf @ Loof.

Loof is also @ Odeon Towers. And I tell u, their glasses of alcohol is cheap! Provided u have a citibank platinum or dividend credit card. It's 30% off! 1 tequilla pop is only $7+ incl gst! Cheapest pop I ever had. The waterfall is not as beautiful as what we had the previous time, but it's cheap too. House wine is a no-no!! I think it's too 'rough'.
Another good point about loof is that, it is open air. And so we got to see & hear fireworks!!! But as we are on the 3rd level, we can only see the higher fireworks. Nonetheless, it's a bonus to have cheap drinks w fireworks! Haha...
We celebrated darling's birthday by surprising him w a tiramisu cake from Jack's place. I guess he was really shocked. Haha! The cake was so-so but we din have a problem finishing it. All thanks to the games we played. Cuz I dun tink we can finish the red wine & cake w/o playing games....
We ended the day @ ard 12+am with 1 bottle of red wine, 4 tequilla pop, 2 waterfall. Total bill amounted to $113 for 4 person. Conclusion is, we will come bk for more. Yeah!

Post pics up soon.. I know i'm slow.. But tt's me! ;P

Sony Ericsson UPCOMING 16GB Walkman Phone??!!

2008-08-21T13:58:00.002+08:00

I wonder how true is the rumor! But I'm so excited!!! I can't wait to see the phone! I wonder if they can have a nicer design, unlike W960I which I dun really like.... But I seriously like the features of the phone, only the design is not really my type. I can't wait to change to a better walkman phone thou I still heart my W810I a lot. Hehe...

Hopefully they'll announce the rumor to be true very soooooooon! Cuz my contract will be up end of the yr! Yay!!

Back back back!!!

2008-08-13T15:18:00.003+08:00

Yes, I'm back! After a long long time....

Have been indulging in online sprees($$$) all these while. Haha, so bz till I dun even have time to blog anything....

I'm bk from my Redang cum KL trip in July! Yes, it has been a month! I tink I shld blog abt it soon.. Haha! Have been thinking of posting pics & videos of beautiful Redang, but juz couldn't find time to do so.. Cuz u noe, it tks time to post all these stuff... Yes, i'm as usual, lazzzzzzzzzzy....

Anyway, if anyone has seen my friendster profile, u wld have seen the pics. Beautiful rite?? A few of my frens have said tt! Worth a visit if u r a beach goer! But as compared to Perhentian Island, the corals just aint tt magnificient! But fishes wise, they're much bigger and more species! And yes, the marine park is really beautiful... We saw 1 big eel there! Imagine tt! So scary... We manage to catch tt on video, shall post it up here very soon! I din get to see shark @ marine park, but the bf did! Hmph!! I shld hav let him handle the videotaking!! Argh! But lucky me, I saw 1 young shark just off the beach nearby our resort! Yes, caught it on video too! Cool!! There was no turtle tis time round, prob the place our boatman brought us to wasn't tt fantastic. We still tink tt the boatman @ Perhentian was better....

Overall, I think Redang is a "must-visit" place if you like to have a short getaway in one of Msia's islands. Best if there are more frens going together cuz u will see the difference wen u r there! And pls @ least go on a 4d3n tour. Nv 3d2n.... U juz wun get enough of anything!

Alrighty, I shall update w the pics & videos soon! C ya later!

Gone in a sec!

2008-04-08T23:00:00.004+08:00

Irritating!!!!!!!!!! Was blogging half way and I accidentally press the BACKSPACE key!!!! Argh!!! It juz went bk to the damn dashboard. Gosh!!! I dun wanna re-type!!!! Stupid me.... :[

Anyway, I have to blog abt this! Found a new hangout plc. TopOne KTV. For those who loves singing till the wee hours on wkend and do nt like the idea of being overcharged, you can try topone @ bugis. Tt night, we went and sang from 12am to 5:30am, and it was fri nite, it only cost us $28 nett, with free flow of drinks. And if u were to go on wkday, u can sing from 11am to 7pm for only $16nett. Isn't tt wonderful?! Drinks r all on free flow basis. But the glasses r big enuff that u only nd a glass or 2. So I guess they do know hw to save money.... Hmmm... Songs r nt tt bad thou it's nt as updated as KBox. The room is spacious enuff to accomodate the 4 of us. Nt too sure if the smaller rooms for 2 person will b big or nt. And they have 4 themes, guess the level we went to was the Ice theme. Each room has the control for lighting, 4 different types of lights. Flash, cool light whr the table will be lighted up, pattern light whr the wall will be filled w flower designs & the normal warm lights. The VIP room even has smoke effect. Wonder hw it looks like.. Maybe can try the nx time round!! Overall, it's a quite budget ktv with good enuff sound system! Enjoyed myself so much! Another record breaking day! Haha..

There's another cheaper KTV. Ten Dollar Club. See the link & u'll know wat I mean. Haven try tt thou. But will definitely go one of these days!!!

No! I muz control myself. No more indulgence in fun! Shld be studying nw... Oops!! ;P

Chilling...

2008-03-19T20:10:00.002+08:00

Am surfing @ Suntec's Starbucks now.... Quite cool, got power outlet, quite quiet but the aircon is damn cold...... :[

Actually, i'm still nt quite "over" with last sat's nights-out. Haha... The 1st time I really enjoyed myself @ MOS. Thou it was too squeezy, but then we still managed to get onto the dance floor, TWICE!! (p.s."Girl, ur squeezing skill very power!! ;P") Haha... Guess we really had fun as we din even realise tt it was time to go home, until my sis called. And it was already 3am! I thot it was like 1am... Cuz we're still very very awake. Haha.... Tequilla pop is my nx fav after vodka! Shiok! Mayb I shld try "popping" it @ hm since I have it. Just nt sure what is mixed together to become tequilla. Anyone knows???

Maybe I'll go again soon. But shall nt get addicted to it cuz it's definitely nt cheap.....

********

I dreamt of him last night. He seems like asking me to go visit him. But I can't. I hope he wun be too disappointed... Cuz I still misses him alot & wld really like to go if I cld. But I've got class... It's always the case when it comes to him. Lessons will always crash on the same day! I wonder why....

Overdue Birthday Post...

2008-03-15T11:28:00.011+08:00

Tink the post on my birthday sounds so depressing. But well, luckily, it wasn't tt tt bad @ the end of the day.... Haha..

I only left the hse ard 5pm.. Well, cuz "somebody" couldn't find the way to my hse!!! Haha.. But well, it's his first time..

1st stop, we went to Kallang Leisure Park. Nothing much there, but the arcade is good. Empty & lotsa game tt i like. Haha... It was really quite a quick walk, so I suggest, if you're nt there for ice-skating or kbox, dun waste time travelling down. Of course, unless, u're really excited abt this new hangout plc... If nt, get smone to drive u there!

2nd stop was Labrador Park. Dinner was @ "The Olive Ristorante". Beautiful plc with peaceful ambience for fine dining. Food was quality enuff but it was kinda pricey. I guess we're paying for the ambience & service quality.... But the tiramisu cake is a must must try! Yummy!! Haha...Thx for the surprise! It was a nice one!!!

After dinner, we walked ard the area and discovered a small little viewing platform just above the restaurant. Great magnificient view of the sea and ships. But too bad, there's a couple who looks like they're having an affair there. Haha... Can't tk any pics cuz they're blocking the way! Sadz.. Then we proceed bk to the car but on the way, we saw a resort & spa plc. And we thot we shld go chk out the plc. Indeed, the plc is quite classy on the out-look. And they have a seafood restaurant which we din go in & take a look. Cuz we're more fascinated by the "glass house". Makes me wanna hold my wedding dinner (eh.. no la, i'm nt getting married any time soon) there!! So romantic..... Hehe...

After taking photos of this little glass house, we went EC, Changi Beach, Pasir Ris Park & ended our day @ ard 4am... Wat a day! Full of twist & turn of emotions & events. Haha...

**Tiramisu & Us** (but quite blur. Argh!!!)

**Sweet**

**Nice smiles, I like!** (but he looks different!)

**Poolside Glass House** (tell me it's not gorgeous??!!)

**Nice Shot** (but he looks uncomfortable. Haha!)

**Flowers** (hope it's nt my only bdae present... hehe!)

Into Sun & Moon today...

2008-03-10T14:23:00.005+08:00

Haha.... Duno y I'm so bo liao. Just happen to receive the free birthday reading report from astrology. And suddenly had the urge to find out what's my moon & rising sign! Always hear it on TV, but haven had the time to find out what's mine! Finally found it after hrs of searching!!!

Sun sign: Pisces

Your Moon is in Taurus

Even tempered and peace loving, you are not easily ruffled and are rarely given to emotional displays. You have a calming effect on more high-strung or volatile people, and an emotional steadiness that others find soothing. Though gentle and not easily provoked, you are tremendously stubborn and will resist any change which requires an emotional adjustment, such as changes in your home life or marriage.

You seek security and loyalty in love, are extremely devoted to your loved ones, and provide a warm, nurturing atmosphere for them. However, you tend to cling and seek to keep others from changing.

A great deal of physical affection, closeness, and touching is essential to your well-being, and you have a tendency to overindulge in sensual comforts and pleasures. At times you substitute food for emotional comfort and love.

Libra Rising:

If your Rising Sign is Libra, it's hard for anyone to say 'no' to you. You seem so charming and persuasive, people can't help but accommodate you! You likely look smashing even if you're just running to the market for milk. You may seem outwardly indecisive, but you're so irresistible that you'll find those around you more than happy to make up your mind for you. Keep vanity and sulkiness -- two less attractive Libran qualities -- in check. Luckily, Libras avoid conflict at all costs -- expect tons of harmony, fun and lots of carefree communication!

"Happy" Birthday

2008-03-08T12:52:00.003+08:00

It's nt a "happy" birthday. What is birthday? Nothing special. Juz more smses. Tt's the only difference. Mayb the best plan is to juz stay home, eat my kimchi noodle, fix my puzzle, watch tv, fall in love with Ling Feng & go slp early.

Home is always the best place to go to. No whr else matters. No matter if I've stayed home for 5 continuous days, i'll still stay home for another 1 day. Does it makes a difference? Nope.

Maybe I expect too much. Or maybe today is simply just ANOTHER day.

I've learnt my lesson. I shldn't expect a miracle on my birthday. It's true that the only celebration you will have after 21 yrs old, is dinner & nothing else. Probably the most expensive dinner of the yr...

But u know wat, I appreciate the effort. Just tt it doesn't mk the day any special from other days. Thanks mate!

And thx to all for the wishes! Thou it doesn't seems to be a gd day, I appreciate the wishes.

Watch this! Fits just right for today's mood.

"Caved Out"

2008-03-04T10:44:00.004+08:00

Has been a long long time since the last post, which was last yr!! Finally decided to blog smth....

But duno wat to say.. Had so much to say when I was thinking of blogging. But quite blank-out now... Hmmm...

Well, erm, actually, I'm planning to go Redang tis yr. Hoping to find more friends to go along. A trip for 2 seems nt tt fun thou it's romantic.. Ask weiling, but the bf nt interested.. Haiz.. Anyone interested, let me know k? Cuz I wanna book resort very soon!

Received a birthday treat email from Worldcard. Gotten a free one night stay for low season, duno if I shld utilise it or juz leave it like all other yrs... Too bad it's nt transferable, else, I could pass it to others.

And I actually had the chance to go Bali this May. Only nd to pay airfare. But due to exams and sm other reason, I had to forgo it. And my love gotta forgo it too.. Hehe.. Sorrrrrrrrrrrrry......... But really thx for accommodating my illogical logic. We'll definitely go there together one of the days k?

I wanna try Mad Jack Cafe. Anyone interested? At simpang bedok!

???WHY???

2007-12-14T14:40:00.000+08:00

I realise there are so many unanswered questions. Answers can nv be the last answer, cuz the "why" will definitely come after that. And I hate that. Cuz I have too much WHYs. But nobody can give me the perfect answer. Every now and then, I ask myself over & over agn, why did it happen? Why him? Why did it end this way? Why is it all history? I can nv answer myself, can nv convince myself anymore. I'm a very self-consoling person, but it doesn't work tis time round. Why? Everyday, I'm just so scare that everyday will just pass by. Becuz, not very long later, everything will become a past. In fact, every word I wrote here is part of my history. So what is now? There's no now... I fear the coming of everyday. I dun look forward to it. I wish I could just stop there & then. I dun want things to become history. It breaks my heart. It makes me cry. I know, I have to be strong, move on, nobody is indispensable in this world. But it's easier said than done. Whenever I tried to talk abt u, look @ ur photos, videos, I became very scare. Cuz u're already a history. Stories of you stop on tt fateful day. Photos of you stop there. Ur everything became our topic. U're no longer physically part of our conversation. U no longer sit among us and joke together. U're no longer @ any celebration, gatherings, outings, watsoever. We can no longer look @ our 3yrs old photos, 13 yrs old photos & nt to mention 23yrs old photos... I took a photo on my birthday. Wat abt u?

Frankly, till today, or even tomorrow, I still cant believe u're over. I really cant. But I know, comes CNY, I'll feel the difference. But still, I can't stop asking why. I dun ask others why, cuz I know the standard answers. I really dun want to hear. I dun c y I cant juz tink of u & cry my heart out for an hr, or 2 or even for a day. What's wrong? Y muz I always have to force myself to divert attention or change the subject? I hate that. Am I not entitled to juz be sad? Apparently, nobody understand this feeling. So, I can only tink of u quietly & b a cry-baby when everyone else is nt aware. Cuz i dun wan to talk abt u & the nx ting everyone else will ask me to nt tink abt it or change the subject. I hate this feeling. Ya, i know everyone cares & wants me to move on, but sometimes, I just nd to be stuck there to feel better...

Maybe these r rubbish thots, but I dun care... I just dun wan u to become a memory. But it's nt possible. Live in my heart? How???

My unspoken wishes...

2007-12-04T12:20:00.000+08:00

Today, early morning, my first thought was you. Cuz 23 years ago, on this day, you came to earth and we became cousins. We always spend lotsa time together even thou u lived in Msia. We took lotsa pictures, just u n mi. Every occasion, every trip. Now, when i browse thru the photos, i couldn't help but feel down. We were once so close. I dun remember i ever took any couple photos with any other cousins except u. Do u still remember? On my birthday, on ur birthday, when u r in my hse, at ah po's plc, at the park, at the swimming pool, etc etc.. So much memories of our childhood... I miss those times when we chat on the phone. Those impromptu calls u made. Those cheeky words u said. Those cheeky photos and video u took. Those stories of ur life. I really enjoy this r/s we had. I really miss those days when u call me, juz to chit-chat. But I'll nv receive a single call from u anymore... I can only communicate w u in my dreams. Thou it's so short and vague, but i'm thankful that you heard my words and let it come true.

I'm not sure if you could ever read this, but if you do, pls, read this and do it ok?

维豪，放下所有的仇恨。不要再执著了。安心的去你该去的地方。保佑家人和朋友。好好照顾自己。记得要常常到梦跟我讲话，有什么需要，要告诉我。有什么想传达的，也可以跟我说。你永远都会活在我的心里，永远都会是我的最要好的表弟。祝你生日快乐！

...To my dearest cousin...

2007-10-18T12:40:00.000+08:00

Been so long since I've blogged. I've so much to blog about. Just too lazy... And too much had happened recently.. I almost couldn't tk the last blow. But life goes on....

<-----
On 02 Oct 2007, I lost my beloved cousin... Forever...

It wasn't meant to be. At least that's wat I feel and was told. But the forces were too strong for us to defeat it. So we lost him. To the other world. I still miss him everyday. Sometimes, I even think that everything that I went thru was just a nightmare. But no.. It has been more than 2 weeks. I saw every piece of proof that he has reallydeparted. But I still can't believe that's the truth. Self-denial. Very bad. Every night, I hope he'll come to my dream and talk to me. But ever since he left, he nv came. Maybe when he has settled down, he'll come visit me. I'm still waiting for that day.. I believe it will come.

For the past 23 years of our life, we've been the closest pair. I knew more about him than any other cousins. He'll call once in a while to update his life and check out mine. We'll see each other at least once a year. Whenever he's in SG, he'll definitely call me. He's always that cheeky, funny and easy to get along. We had a very special bond. I know he'll agree too. Thou we've drifted slighted apart in the recent years, this special bond has never been broken. Even till that day I visited him in hospital. The look in his eyes, I'll nv forget. It was special, different from how he looked at the others. But that was the last eye contact I had with him... The last warmth that I gave him...

Well, I hope, somehow, he would be able to sense how much I miss him & will visit me in my dreams... And definitely pray that he'll be happier in the other place. I hope we'll meet again, but wen, I really duno...

Yummy Lunch

2007-08-31T11:27:00.000+08:00

Had Subway for lunch! Quite worth it as they are having free upgrade to a meal when you buy a sandwich! So I had a drink & 2 cookies for free! 1st time trying the cookie! It's delicioussssssss! You should try it man! It's soft & chewy in the center, makes it taste like a cookie that has gone stale but yet, taste better than when it was fresh. I like! I only tried the macadamia nuts one, so am not so sure abt the rest of the flavours. But it was definitely worth the money! Cheaper than McDonald's foldover and you can choose the veggies & sauce! I love!! But the promo is gonna end nx wk, maybe I shld go for another sandwich before it ends! ;P

Yeah, last day of work! So looking forward to 5:45pm!

Stupid transport!!!!

2007-08-30T09:56:00.000+08:00

Damn irritated this morning!

Was out early, hoping I can reach office on time, and so I thot I shld take a bus to Bedok. From my last few days of observations, the buses to Bedok seems to come faster than the one I take to Tampines. And so while I was half way crossing the road, I saw 67. I knew I couldn't catch it cuz it was the green light and cars are coming. Oh, btw, I was crossing illegally as usual.. So fine, I told myself, "Nvm, soon 28 will come". And so I waited, waited and waited. Buses that I always want to tk from the opposite side came and go. Not 1 but 4 to 5 buses! Damn! When I was waiting at the opposite side @ the same time, none came. When I was not there, many came!!! Wah, I was so so pissed! Cuz I waited like 10-15 mins for the sickening 67 to come. And 28 has to follow behind it!! WTH??!! By the time I was on the bus, it was already 8:10. I'm supposed to start work @ 8:30 @ Raffles Place!!!! Feeling quite pissed, I took the bus and it was so damn crowded and so many people were boarding it @ EVERY STOP!!! OMG!!! Fire ignite already!!! By the time I reached the station, it was 8:25. 5 mins to official working hrs.... Ok, nvm, late, ok, nvm.... All I hope is a smooth journey and I know the fire wun burn! But no, all bad things will come TOGETHER!!! The mrt, as usual, was packed with people like tuna being sandwiched. But the worst thing tt can happen is to stop every other second!! I tell u, it stops like forever @ each station and it stops in the middle of no where every now and then! ARGH!!!! Fire is burning, furiously. I'm so angry till I even thot of not going to work or tk half day or anything like tt. Sickening!!!

I so hate public transport!!! Especially nowadays, the mrt will always breakdown. ALWAYS!!! And it has to happen during peak hours! I really wonder what the SMRT people are doing. Dun they do maintenance??? We're paying and it's not cheap ok?! All I expect is to have a smooth ride. I dun demand for more cabins, more space or more seats! Damn damn irritating!!!!

Haiz.. I've been so short-tempered for the past few days! Must be the stupid PMS! Irritating!! Want come den come la, y muz mk ppl suffer PMS? Wah lau ey!! I hate being a woman! Aiyo, I practically hate everything today!!!

Spree!!

2007-08-28T15:41:00.000+08:00

Haha.. I've been crazily shopping @ the sprees for taiwan.. Tink I've spent @ least S$300.. And I still can't stop! Shit! I must really control. And so I'm not going to buy anything online today! I'll go City Plaza to buy! Haha... No difference... Shopaholic me~~

Ok, but y City Plaza and not Far East Plaza? Cuz I remembered I read smwhr that says that actually the cheaper stuff are all there. Some of them are even wholesalers! So mayb you will find clothes that are the same yet cheaper in City Plaza as compared to Far East Plaza or Bugis Village. But this is not confirmed yet! Let me go venture and I'll let you know! I have like so much things to buy, duno y oso!!

_~_~_~

This friday would be my last day @ ANZ. Neither happy nor sad. I couldn't believe that sch is starting so so soon... Haiz... Seriously, I still prefer to work. Cuz money will come rolling in every month.. And work occupies almost ur whole day and it seems to mk my life far more exciting. Haha.. I know I'm crazy.. Nvm, I'm used to it!

Let me recall what I've did in ANZ.....

FILING. That's the top of the list task. I'm actually hired as a filer. So everyday, I wait for documents and files to come in for me to file. Once in a while, I'm asked to edit some words document. But most of the time, I'm doing online shopping, blogging, "googling", "friendster-ing" & just surf the internet. It's easy money, yeah, but it's a totally boring, brainless and uninteresting job. 3 months wasted learning nothing. I swore to find a better job the next holiday. At least a job that can keep you busy from 8:30am-5:30.

But on the other hand, being so free allows me to settle lotsa personal stuff. Haha.. I gain quite alot of knowledge on researching, got loaded with lotsa information for my trip, plan and booked my trip via email, etc.. Well, there's always a good and bad side of things. Guess that's the best phrase to explain my experience here. :)

------------

Have so much to update, that's why the post are all jumbled up! Anyway, was out swimming on sunday @ safra. The kuku us din bring any wallet and was only told @ the counter tt the pool is open only for members & guest on wkends. And so we decided to head hm to get wallet and join member. Thinking that we might get free entry for member and guest, darling joined 3 yrs of membership for $81. But we were told that guest needs to pay $2 on wkdays and $3 on wkends. Wat a gimmick!! But wat to do, he has already join.... So sad.... But nvm, we're planning to use the card for the benefits and privileges.. One gd discount is wkend movies @ GV for $8. And the pool is quite empty on wkend!

So I guess I'll be swimming quite often! :)

Exercise Day!

2007-08-23T13:54:00.000+08:00

Been a while since the last update! Was much busier @ work recently. Haha.. Good but it's nt an everyday thing... Am quite tired recently, cuz quite a few things happened and my days are just running ard till 11+pm before I can relax in my comfy bed... Well, things are better now. No more running needed at least for the next few days! Finally can find sm time to watch the vcds that we've rented. So much shows to catch! So little time to do so...

And today's I've got the mood for either gym or swimming. Swimming is definitely a better choice as you can really burn fats for the whole body and it's a good way to de-stress. Probably becuz of Perhentian trip, I'm very keen on swimming nowadays. Hope I can keep the momentum of going to swim like twice a week! And mayb sm gym or running would be good too! It's time to SHAPE UP! Haha... Been feeling so "fat" recently, can't stand watching people having slim figures walking ard everywhere! I WANT to be one of them! ;P

So anyone keen to exercise, be it swim, gym, running, sports or any fat-burning/stress relieving related activities, please ask mi along! :)

Keep Fit, Be Happy!

Happy Holidays?

2007-08-16T08:47:00.000+08:00

I've always had the holidays phobia smhw. Maybe it's true. Maybe it's happening. As much as I tried to push away this thot, it seems to come haunting me, fiercer each time. Probably it's just my fate tt I'm not entitled to an overall happy holiday. Accept my fate or overturn it? I have so much weighing on my mind. So much to speak of. But I can't seem to find words to describe my thots. Speak out is the best cure. I know, but how, when ur mouth is open, yet no words came out? Mayb I should invent my own language, own dictionary, own words, own everything. And just live in my own world.

I wish I was my father.. So I can just let go........

Pulau Perhentian - 1st Aug 07 to 6th Aug 07

2007-08-10T14:24:00.000+08:00

Start

We boarded Transnasional Ekspress @ Lavender Street ard 7:15pm and successfully cross the customs to Johor around 8+pm. And so we relax and started to fall aslp. Around 11pm, I realised we're in Labis, my grandma's place. Kinda surprise that the bus is actually taking the small roads instead of highway!! So I showed my darling the small little town that I've been visiting about twice a yr! Nice feeling to pass by a familiar place!

Day 1
We reached a small town called "Jerteh" around 5:30am and were supposed to wait for our resort's driver to pick us up. But nobody came. The 2 of us were practically stranded on the quiet and dark street with occasionally a car passing by. A few cars stopped and asked if we wanted a taxi ride to the jetty, we declined. Fearfully, we took out a scissor and small little lighter knife in our pockets respectively. We know we can't possibly bring a parang knife so we brought sm self defencing objects in case we met with any mishaps. We waited for like 10 mins but there was still no sight of our driver, so we called up the boss of the chalet. Haha.. Luckily we got his hp number on the website b4 leaving Singapore. Else, we may just be so helpless. So the driver came around 6+am and we were taken to Kuala Besut Jetty where we waited till around 1030am before we board the speedboat to Perhentian!

The speedboat isn't the big one, so water came splashing on us. But I kinda enjoyed this kinda ride. Haha... It took abt 30mins to reach our resort. Well, nice beautiful sea but was kinda disappointed when I saw the location of our chalet. It wasn't that idealistic but well, I had that thot in mind even before I came. For me, I love to look out to the sea and see nothing but just the sky and sea. But our resort was facing the kecil island which wasn't a great view but well, have to just mk do with it! Oh, btw, there's 2 places to stay in Perhentian. One's the Besar (big), the other's the Kecil (small). We stayed on Besar where it's famous for serenity and nice beaches with no nightlife! True enuff, no loud music, no pubs, no lounge. Just resort's restaurants... Peace~~

We checked in around 1130am and lunch was @ 12pm. As we took package, we kinda had a schedule to follow. Well, it's all arranged by the resort which they put all the resort package go-ers for meals and snorkeling together. We're kinda accompanied by this couple from KL whom always had meals at the table beside us and go snorkeling together for 3 days! 1st day of lunch was great. Asian food which we had 2 dishes, 1 soup, 2 drinks and a plate of fruits. The food tasted quite nice and we were quite satisfied. Snorkeling was @ 2pm therefore, we still had time to explore around before we go back to change into our swim attire. So we walked to Tuna Bay Resort which was just like 5mins walk away from our resort and true enuff, they're located at a nicer location!! Shrucks!!! We initially wanted to stay there, but it was always fully-booked. And most of the tourists were caucasians. Nevertheless, we took sm photos and quickly went bk to get changed.

We met our boatman who'll take us on the snorkeling trip. He was a very nice and enthusiastic person. Throughout the snorkeling trips, he was mostly in the water with us, showing us the beautiful corals and he knows where to bring us to see the most beautiful part of the sea! We're so glad to see him everyday and the best thing abt him is, he'll always punctual, if not, early. And when we're slightly late, he would still be smiling nicely and say it's ok. Anyway, back to snorkeling! The 1st day's destination was Pulau Susu Daru and Pulau Rawa. This 2 island were abt 20 mins away from our resort. They small and uninhabited. Therefore, the water was crystal clear and the corals were so beautiful and undamaged. The corals at this places are really thriving so well that some were so hugh that they are almost growing out of the water. Most of the corals have nice colours, we saw yellow, purple, blue, red, orange, green and many many other colours. The fishes that were mostly swimming with us were the tiger fish cuz usually they know we have bread for them. Clever huh! We were enticed by the pictorial underwater world cuz the previous snorkeling trip in Phuket wasn't half as nice. I was so happy and excited that I went shooting pictures so fast that I was only left with 3 photos only after our 1st stop. Luckily we had a digi cam. Haha.. Oh, if you ever go snorkeling here, remember to ask ur boatman to stop at the white lighthouse area. Hugh, beautiful corals!! Must see!! We even stood on one of the big yellow coral/rock (not sure which is it) cuz it's so hugh and high up in the water! But we din stay long enuff in this spot as I thot I was stung by jellyfish cuz we saw many of these jelly-liked things passing by us and I actually felt a sting. But we only knew it wasn't jellyfish on the 2nd day of snorkeling when the boatman told us. But I'm still trying to find out what exactly is this jelly-liked thing... Do tell me if you know k? After the lighthouse spot, we head bk to our resort. It was already 5+pm. And dinner was @ 7pm.

After a nice bath, we head out for dinner. Another round of asian food, same menu but different style this time round. It still tasted nice thou!! We din hang around outside but wen bk to our resort to load our photos and videos into the laptop. And we were so tired that we had an early night, probably around 10+pm...

~~

Day 2

We woke up around 7+am and went for breakfast which was @ 8:30am. A very nice breakfast cuz we were served food that weren't supposed to be in our package, so ended up, we had a very very full and delicious meal! We like to sit at the outer deck which is just above the sea. Very nice feeling!! I guess the photo speaks for it all. Snorkeling was earlier today at 10am. So we had little time to walk around and din take much photos. So as usual, after breakfast, we went back to change and get ready for our second venture into the sea! Today's snorkeling spot would be around the Besar island. And little did we know, we're in for a good treat! Cuz it's the day for sea turtle and sharks!!! But the snorkeling started slightly later as we went to pick other snorkellers up at the nearby resorts... And after that, the 1st stop was in the middle of the sea where we were chasing a sea turtle. Haha.. It was really nt an easy task to see a sea turtle cuz it swims real fast and there were like 3-4 speedboat full of ppl, trying to spot it and jump into the sea and swim after it. I guess the turtle got scared by us and kept on swimming away from us. But I gotta say the boatman has got fantastic eyes! He can just spot the turtle even thou it's in the water. We were all looking and asking each other "Where?" "No, I can't see"! Haha.. We made a few futile trip into the sea and up the speedboat before we saw the turtle emerge it's head up for a breathe of air. It was really a fast one!! But I saw it twice. Once in the water, once when it came up for air. I was so lucky as the boatman spotted the turtle and stopped the boat right above the turtle and tt's y when I jumped in, I saw it resting on the sea bed just below me. But I din know it was the turtle until I saw it's 4 legs as it camouflage itself very well with the sand! Amazing! The colour of the turtle is off-white with brown spots. Nice! And the it really look kinda old. Haha... So the turtle spotting was fruitful and almost all of us saw the turtle, be it in water or not.

So we head off to the next spot. Sharks' Point. Scary as it sounds, we were not at all scare. Instead, we were so looking forward to spot sharks. And lucky enuff, we had the boatman to take us around the water, looking for sharks. Initially, we saw the jelly-liked things which kinda flooded the whole area. Yucks!!! But knowing it wasn't jellyfish, we were more at ease when it touches us. We were swimming around but din see any sharks. This place was more of a sandy area instead of corals. Well, sharks usually prefer to swim at sandy places and not corals!! Suddenly, the boatman shook us hard and kept pointing to smth swimming slightly in front of us! Shark! Black tipped reef Shark!! It wasn't the baby one. It looked more like a teenage shark to me. Cool! So so cool! It was swimming very close to the sea bed and I guess it din notice our presence. We followed it for quite a while before it swims too fast for us to catch up. And after this shark, we saw no more. But well, 1 sighting of it is still better than nothing! Thrilling!!

After shark sighting, we were brought to a place with nicer corals and fishes where we fed the fishes with bread and video it down. I still remembered the snorkeling trip in Phuket where it was the 1st time I got in touch with fishes, I was screaming like nobody's business and swimming away as fast as thou the sharks are after me. Cuz the people on the boat were feeding the fishes and I din realise that until I saw the fishes all around me. But I duno why I din felt so scare this time round, instead, I even stretch out my hands, hoping to touch the fishes while I fed them in the water. There were really so much fishes as you can see in the video. It is really better if you were there to experience it for yourselves. :)

We ended today's snorkeling trip with this spot on Besar and head back to resort for lunch. We went snorkeling w/o life jacket in front of the beach of tuna bay where there were also fishes and corals. But we din snorkel more than 10 mins as darling got bitten by hungry fishes that thought his toes were bread?! Haha.. I guess the bites were more painful than those tiny little bites we had while feeding the fishes during snorkeling, so he suggested we shld just go back. Partly also becuz we were confident to swim further out into the sea cuz we had no life jacket and we're scared we'll step on the corals. Kinda yucky feeling to step on it!

So we went back and asked them to prepare lunch, while we head back to clean ourselves dry. Once again, lunch was the usual 2 dishes, 1 soup, 2 drinks and fruits. And we had the same fish for lunch and dinner everyday, but cooked in different style. We're kinda getting sicked of the boring fish!! And it was always either squid or prawn for lunch or dinner. And the soup will always have chicken. No vegetables at all! Not very healthy as we were always hoping and craving for vegetables... Nonetheless, we ate the lunch and went sun-tanning. It was kinda cloudy so we din manage to get a good tan. But we had a good time under the sun, reading storybook, listening to iPod and closing our eyes to just rest. Pure relaxation!!! Aw... I'm missing those days.... :(

Anyway, we tan till around 4+, 5pm before we went back to have a good bathe and it was dinner time again!! Yeah, we're like eating, eating and eating. Haha.. Hard not to grow fat! Dinner was kinda different today. It was BBQ. We were served BBQ squid, chicken and fish. Same type of fish again!!! Haiz... The food wasn't really nice, so my advise is, dun go for the BBQ in Cocohut. Probably tuna bay has better BBQ food. The squid wasn't washed clean and the waste inside the squid (white stuff) is still in there. Even a piece of plastic is left inside the squid. Eeee... Very disgusting. We even had to clean the squid before we eat it! Wasn't a very nice dinner for today. But it was ok as we were still full from the lunch. As usual, we din stay out late. We brought sprite and went back to our room to mix it with vodka and drink! We were entertaining ourselves by drinking and playing finger games.. Haha.. Fun la.. But we thot it would be better if we had some friends, at least it'll be much livelier. Well, hopefully the next trip, we can go with sm friends! Anyway, we slept early again cuz alcohol makes us slpy. Haha.. But I guess we were also physically tired from the day's activities, esp snorkeling..

~~~

Day 3
Woke up around 7+am, breakfast @ 8:30am and snorkeling @ 10am. Same timing, kinda routine. Haha.. But it was a routine that we were willing to follow! It's the last snorkeling trip of the day! The sun is really good today! But the sea is kinda rough. Our last snorkeling spot is on the Kecil island. It was more of a place for nice corals and fishes. But we got a very rewarding experience. We saw 2 stringrays at 2 different spots! Lucky us! One stingray was bigger, the other might be a baby one. But the species is the same. Greyish body with yellow spots. We had a better digi cam for the last day as we decided to take a risk and use my digi cam whr the colour and image turns out to be so much clearer. As u can see, our technique wasn't tt gd. Cuz it's really nt easy to tk picture nor shoot video underwater. Really need lotsa skills!! However, we're glad and proud that we manage to catch the stringrays on video even thou it's very shaky! Look closely ya?! It's a pity that the video for the shark and turtle wasn't clear @ all. So couldn't show it here... But nvm, there'll be more trips to take more videos of sharks and turtles!! :)

We spot the 1st stingray @ the area which is near to D'Lagoon resort. Nice fishes and colourful corals here. I tink it's the best spot of the day as compared to the later 2 spots. The sea isn't too rough here, maybe becuz it's nearer to shore. The 2nd spot is an area near to Bubu Island resort. The corals are so so only, but we spot the smaller stingray here! But if u're into feeding fishes, rest assured that as long as u have bread in your hand or bottle, the fishes will come! Haha... The last spot is the worse spot of our 3 days of snorkeling. It's kinda deep and the water isn't that clear. Not much fishes but has big corals. And the worse thing is, the water current is kinda strong @ this area. It's just smwhr opposite Bubu Island resort whr the rocks are. Both darling and I were feeling very nauseous while in the sea. So we weren't appreciating the corals at this area. We were both tinking when can we go up into the boat. Cuz the boatman was so enthu that he kept on bringing us around to see the corals. And becuz there were only the KL couple and us on today's trip, we had more time to snorkel. I tink it was about 20-30mins in the sea before we headed back to the boat. You had no idea how glad we are to be bk in the boat. But the condition wasn't too good on the boat as it was swaying side to side due to the strong current. And the funniest thing was, I told darling "Hey, I feel like puking.." And he answered "Ya..." And the moment I turn my head away, I heard him vomiting so badly till I almost joined in. OMG!!! The sea was flooded with his orangey undigested food. Yucks!! Really Disgusting! And the boatman was laughing. He must be tinking that we're so weak. Haha...

Back to the chalet, darling felt better, but I din. Cuz I stopped myself from vomitting earlier on. However, I still ate lunch as usual. And we went sun tanning again! Today's sun is really burning hot! The sky is so clear. Good weather to get a tan and also heat stroke. Haha.. Yeah, I know. Weaklings on the island. I got heat stroke. Barely an hour tanning and I almost fainted. Haiz... 1st time in my life to experience this. Terrible feeling!! But lucky me, I've got a man who's smart and knows how to deal with heat stroke. Haha... The whole day was just wasted as I wasn't feeling well all the way till night time. And so the rest of the day was spent in the room uploading photos, videos and cam-whoring!! Haha.. Around 8+pm, we went out for dinner @ Tuna Bay Resort. Decided to ask the resort nt to prepare our share for dinner as we are so sicked of the same food but in different style! We had western food over at tuna bay cafe and it was delicious! But too bad, I couldn't finish the food as I din feel well again after eating a small portion. Probably becuz of the afternoon's sea sick and heat stroke.. Ruin the last day to enjoy the sun, sea and food on the island! Haiz... :(

We ended the night early again as both are so tired and unwell.... zzZZzZzZzzZ

~~~~

Day 4
Was feeling much better and woke up ard the same time to go for breakfast. But as it was the last day here, we were more into packing up than anything else. The room was kinda in a mess still thou we've tried to pack quite a bit the night before.. Oh, well, that's usually what happens when u're on a holiday! :) So we went for our usual breakfast, which was still that tasty! I like the toasted bread with butter! Yummy! And we went bk for a bathe and finish our packing minutes before 11am, the check-out time! We've arranged for the boat to fetch us back to the jetty only @ 4pm, so we could spend the rest of the time, walking around the island and tk more pics! It was definitely the right choice to make cuz it was only then did we realise we haven been so relax for the past few days. Maybe becuz we gotta smhw adhere to the timing for meals and snorkeling, we weren't very free to do things @ the time we wanted.

We left our bags with the recep and set our foot to Tuna Bay Resort. Initially, we wanted to settle there for a cup of coffee but decided to do that later wen we're hotter! So we walked on, taking pics occasionally and smiled @ the friendly ppl around the beaches. One very friendly lady offered to help us take a photo! That was so sweet! :)

This time round, we ventured a bit further. We went up the Marine Park and took pics! Nice view of the Perhentian Island! And we walked on till we reached Abdul's Chalet. A very quiet resort which has the beach to it's own. Chalets dun look that great but the ambience and environment will definitely attract you to stay on. Cuz that's what happened to us. We were so glad to find such a nice place to just chill. And so we sat down for ice cream, watermelon juice and orange juice. Thirst quenching and refreshing! We din felt like moving on to elsewhere cuz it's really quiet over here. No music, no kids running ard shouting, nor adults laughing and talking loudly. Perfect place for you to just sit and stare into the space! I guess we did that most of the time.

We sat for about an hr plus and decided to get our butt off to venture further. Haha.. Great ambition but little determination. Or maybe it was juz too hot! We've only managed to walk to the end of the beach, took sm pics, sat on the swing for less than 10 seconds and decided that it was time for lunch!! ;P

Lunch was @ Abdul's again. It was cheaper and the drinks earlier on convinced us that the food will definitely be nice. So we ordered Mixed Salad (fact that we crave for vege), French Fries , Tuna Sandwich and a 1.5litre of mineral water. True enough, the food was great! We're very satisfied and just sat there all the way till 315pm before we head back to our resort. But before that, we both bought the same tee that has the pic of perhentian island! We decided to buy a tee for every place we travel to in future! Too bad we missed Phuket's one... Anyway, doesn't matter, we'll be bk there sm day! :)

Oh, and we also decide to collect the sand on the beaches. There were 3 portion collected from Abdul's Chalet, Tuna Bay Resort and New Cocohut Resort. Kinda silly, but I thot it'll be a gd souvenir which is free!

Back @ Cocohut, we collected our bags and sat in the restaurant to wait for our boat to arrive. Meanwhile, we ordered watermelon juice again. Haha.. We're very dehydrated! Abt 410pm or so, our boat arrived. We walked to the jetty over @ Tuna Bay's side and board the speed boat. Bye Perhentian Island! We'll miss this place and we'll be back!! :)

~~~~~

End
Back at the jetty, we proceed to the travel agency for our transport to Kota Bahru. It was a scary taxi ride as we had to share the taxi with 3 other people. Sharing the taxi was nt the scary part, it was the driver and one of the passenger. The driver was practically speeding all the way and was staring @ other drivers which smhw "offended" him. Scary! 2 of the passengers alight 1st and we're left with another 1 passenger. And he started asking whr we're from, whr we went, hw long, whr we're going, etc. And I saw him taking out his hp and started talking to the driver. I really thot they were going to kidnapped or rob us. The scenario was so scary. But thank god, it did nt happen, else I wun be here blogging. The cab driver drove us safely to the bus terminal and he actually asked for tips when we paid him. He knows we're from SG, tt's y he asked for tips. But Darling declined to give him tips... Luckily, he left w/o plotting to harm us! Haha...

As it was still early, we carried our backpack and walked all the way down to a shopping mall jus beside Renaissance Hotel. Well, I guess that's the only safest place that we can find food. We do nt dare to sit by the roadside as we're carrying 2 big and 1 small bag. People might juz target us anytime! So I presume a shopping mall would be safer! And so we had our food in a food court which has most stalls closed and kinda empty. Seeing that we still had a little bit of time, we walked ard the mall and I bought a 1GB sony memory stick for my hp for RM66. I hope it's cheap!!! We left the mall ard 715pm and walked back to the bus terminal. The coach left at 8pm and we're on our way back to SG! It was a much longer trip back home as there were more stops and jam throughout the journey. We only reached SG ard 9+am and reached home ard 10+am.

Tired, dirty and sun burned. But we've got loads of fun, memories and relaxation! Wonderful trip! Best snorkeling trip I've ever been to! :)

Information for interested parties
Resort Booking: Do it online only, SG travel agency dun have perhentian packages. Book from Journey Malaysia. Friendly staff and reliable website.
Bus to jerteh from Singapore: Transnasional Eskpress @ Lavender Street, opposite Singapore Casket. $70+/person for return trip.
Transport to Kuala Besut: Taxi @ RM10/person/way
Transport to Resort: Can arrange with resort. RM60/person for return trip.
Lotion to ward against jellyfish and sea lice: Brand, Safesea. Only 1 distributor in SG. Addr, Reeds (Co. name) Kaki Bukit Ave 1, Shun Li Ind. Park, #05-01. Mon-Fri 9am to 5pm. 6747-0533. Abt $24.
Snorkeling Equpiment: Can rent from resort, else, buy in SG will cost abt $30 - $70.
Underwater casing: Brand, DiCAPac. Suits different camera cuz it's a soft case, not the hard casing. Cost abt $55 if purchase online for SG ebay seller, Gift-Me-Mall. Reliable and fast! If purchase in stores, can go to one shop that sells camera @ AMK hub but it cost $68 for the same casing.

**Long long post.. But hope you enjoy reading it! Now, it's time for the photos!! Videos coming up soon!**

Pulau Perhentian Trip Update 1

2007-08-10T14:03:00.000+08:00

Yes! I'm bk on monday! Nice, wonderful, beautiful, enjoyable, exciting trip. The best part of the whole trip has to be snorkeling. Cuz we spent 3 days snorkeling in the sea and we saw what we had expected and not expected to see. To summarise, we saw sea turtle, shark and stingrays!! Of course the corals were amazing. Thriving beautifully and full of colours. Great!! Everyday's snorkeling trip, we're anticipating for more surprises and the sea of perhentian really din disappoint us @ all. In fact, it surprises us more with the fishes and corals. We're so glad that we bought the underwater pouch for our digital camera as we caught those precious moments down and brought it back to share it with others and for us to reminisce. Unforgettable trip, unforgettable sea. We're so looking forward to learn diving as we saw many ppl went for diving courses and dives. Kinda makes us envy them so much. But well, I'm sure, one day, we'll be like them, going for our diving lessons!

I'll be posting up the photos and videos with a trip report very soon. Hope to share the beautiful place with all of ya and also to help me remember the details.. Haha.. But it'll tk lotsa time to do tt, so pls come bk for more updates ya?!

B.Y.E

2007-07-31T16:27:00.000+08:00

I can't wait for 1/8/07, 12pm. It's the time where I will be free from work, stress, unhappiness, boredom and most importantly, SINGAPORE!!! Yeah, I can't wait to get out of this stress city.

Haha... I'll be out from 1st till 6th! Kinda long for 4d3n but well, transport takes abt 1/2 a day per way.. Long, but I guess we'll enjoy it!

I still haven finish packing while my darling has already packed on wkend and left his bag @ my hse.. Haha.. Well, usual me, slack and slack till the very last minute. But luckily, I've done up a travel packing list, I'll just have to rely on the list to pack my bag. Haha... A very good way to ensure that I dun forget important stuff to pack. The 'Note' function on my W810i helps a great deal too! I tink it's really really an useful function for ppl like me, forgetful! Haha...

Ok, shld concentrate on work now. Not as if I got work to do la... Haha... Juz act! Tt's wat I've been doing for the past 1 mth plus.. But it's ok. I'm going to not have to act busy for the next few days! So ppl, continue to work hard ya?! ;P I know I'm bad... Ok la, I'll share w all of you my trip photos when I'm back k?! Haha...

Out!~~~

7 Days

2007-07-25T09:33:00.000+08:00

1 more week to go and I'm outta Singapore! Oh, I just can't wait!!!! Got almost all the stuff we needed. Tink we've spent more than our budget but well, the money was worth spending.

~~~Monday~~~
My darling & I took "MC" on monday. Only decided to fall sick after we've left for work. Haha... So we met up, had McDonald's breakfast, went to see a doctor, slack a bit @ hm and went out to get the stuff we needed for our trip. So first, we went to Kaki Bukit to get 'Safe Sea' lotion to prevent jellyfish stings, then we went to bugis to see a chinese physician for my back and tailbone. Oh, my!!! Tt was really awesome!!! It cured my tailbone pain almost immediate but well, it came bk a little ytd. Haiz.. But the experience with the physician was really great. Haha... So after feeling refresh, we went to shop a little @ bugis and @ the same time collect my new bikini!! Haha.. Nice but kinda expensive. But I like!! Haha... And then we went to city hall to get the so-damn-difficult-to-find 800 film for our underwater camera.. Dun understand why most of the shops dun sell 800. The max is 400. So if anyone of you ever wanna buy 800 film, you have to go to Stamford House's Beautiful Memories to get it! It cost $7.90 per roll. :) And after getting the films, we went to Funan Centre to get travel speakers for iPod. Hehe.. We are really all out to get entertainment and relaxation!! Bought a cheap pair of speaker which cost only $15.90, and the quality turns out to be quite good! Yeah!

So we ended the day by having dinner @ my house. Haha.. My mum cook the traditional 'Lei cha' which has only different types of vegetables and tofu. Darling loves it! Haha.. Me too!! And as usual, we slack and watch our favourite ch55 till 10+ before it's time to go to bed. We actually had in mind to tk MC and rest but who knows, we were rushing to so many places to get our things done for the trip. Another tiring day, nt from work, but shopping. Haha.. But it was overall a nice monday. No monday blues @ all! Haha...

~~~Tuesday~~~
Back to work. As usual. Nothing much to do. Was looking forward to the end of the day as tt's when I can go home and slack and it's 1 day lesser to the holiday!! Hehe...

Overall, last week was a gd week. No quarrels, not much unhappiness, not much trouble, more happiness, more tolerance, more give & take & more laughter! Hopefully there will be many more weeks with all these. It mks time easier to pass by and life much brighter even thou it has been rainy/drizzling the whole day...

And I hope by nx wk, I can kinda flatten my body buoy so that I can have a happier beach holiday! So tt means, I'll have to work extra hard in exercising for the rest of the week. Too bad can't go swimming due to the weather.... Haiz... But I'm going gym this fri!! Hopefully I can really burn lots and lots of fat!! :)

Another Inspiring book

2007-07-19T14:14:00.000+08:00

Am reading another book(If you could see me now) by Cecelia Ahern. First half of the book was boring. But the next half was intriguing. It's like fairy-tale kinda story which I dun tink will ever happen in real life.

Came across this small paragraph just now...

"Don't ever take for granted when people look in your eyes - you've no idea how lucky you are. Actually, forget about luck, you've no idea how important it is to be acknowledged, even if it is with an angry glare. It's when they ignore you, when they look right through you, that you should start worry."

How true! But people tend to not understand this. It's the day when the person who used to nag @ u, get angry with u, gets irritated by u and scolds u stop doing all these, you'll noe they are just looking through you. Only when there's still care and concern, people will then let themselves get affected by things the other person does. Till the day when they ignore you, things will nv b the same again.

~~I dread to tink that this would happen to people tt I loved to be in contact with.

Cooling Wednesday

2007-07-18T14:04:00.000+08:00

Good weather to slack & sleep. I'm feeling so slpy for the 1st half of the day... Tink i'm not having enuff slp.. Haiz.. Sian... I miss my bed. How I wish I'm in bed now.... Cool weather, nice, soft pillow, warm blanket.... Argh!!!

Later gonna meet my ex-citi colleague.. Only for a short short while. But well, it has been postponed since long long time ago, so no matter how i dread to go, i have to.... City hall means 518 means long waiting time means no seats means expensive bus ride... Haiz..

I've been feeling light-hearted for the past few days. Took tings easy, tried to relax myself. Well, it definitely makes everything and everybody ard me better. Good! Now I'm very into getting healthy. Did research on California Fitness, Fitness First & True Yoga. If I had the money, I would join Fitness First! I tink they're much better and competitive in their membership benefits. But well, I dun tink I can join, nt in the near future...

And I'm tinking of going for osteopathy for my backbone and tailbone. It hurts. Thou I've had the curvature problem since primary sch, I dun feel the pain till the last few yrs.. Then I realise I had uneven legs and now, my tailbone is causing me problems with sitting down... Well, it all runs dw to the curvature spinal prob. It's kinda impossible to mk it straight anymore but there are chances that it can be straighten with osteopathy treatment. I wanna go for it cuz I really wanna be "normal".. But money is the main big prob. Cuz it's nt cheap@ all and considering it long term, I would have to be @ least financially stable which wun happen in the nx 2 yrs... Sad!!

So I thot of Yoga as it can help in correcting your posture to increase further pain and curvature. But again, nt cheap. Haiz.. Money, money, money..... It's nt ez to lead a 'normal' life with all the aches. I really have to count on the massages I receive from my dearest beh beh to move on. Haiz.. Sad...

Anyway, to digest a bit, I really wanna buy the La Senza Sports Jacket. $59 after 50% discount. Worth it? But it looks really good on me! Haha.. @ least tt's wat I think... OMG!!! I've been spending like nobody's business, I'm so guilty yet happy.. Haha... I tink i need to tink over it till maybe friday.. And probably I would action on it. Haha... So wat's the pt of tinking when I've already decided to buy rite? I duno man!! I'm always like tt... Crazy~!!

Quizzes & Article again!!

2007-07-16T09:31:00.000+08:00

Quiz: How Optimistic Are You?
You scored 19, on a scale of 9 to 36.
15 - 21
Scattered showers: Your view of life is relatively balanced, but you lean more toward pessimism than optimism. Look on the bright side, though--you think negatively about the short-term but that doesn't seem to affect your view of life in general.

Try it @ Beliefnet-Optimistic

Quiz: What Kind of Traveler Are You?
You scored 25, on a scale of 1 to 40.
21 - 30
You're a Curious Traveler! You never know exactly how a trip is going to end, and you like it that way. Whether you go to a secluded resort or a bustling city, you're always open for new experiences. Hacienda del Cerezo in Santa Fe would be a good place for you.

Try it @ Beliefnet-Traveler

Quiz: Do You Have a Sixth Sense?
You scored 4, on a scale of 0 to 10.
3 - 5
Your intuition is quite active, but you have room to improve. Learn to trust yourself and let your instinct guide you.

Try it @ Beliefnet-Sixth Sense

~~~~
Here's a quite inspiring article teaching you how to "fight" Depression. Well, everyone of us goes thru depressing moments. Maybe try a few tricks here might help. I duno.. But no harm reading...

++Guardian Angel++

2007-07-13T14:42:00.000+08:00

Came across the Catholic Online website. Somehow, it struck me that I haven't been religious enough. I really do not know what is in the Bible. Mayb I should go for Bible class and get myself closer to God. Even if I can't b as close to God, I can be closer to my Guardian Angel.

I remembered the church n my teacher did say that everyone of us has our own Guardian Angel. But I can't remember mine. I want to find out who that is and I want to get closer.

I got this from the website: A heavenly spirit assigned by God to watch over each of us during our lives. The doctrine of angels is part of the Church's tradition. The role of the guardian angel is both to guide us to good thoughts, works and words, and to preserve us from evil.

I need my Guardian Angel. Somehow, we got separated from each other. That's y I'm becoming more and more like a devil. When I see my Guardian Angel, this is what I'll most probably do...

"No evil shall befall you, nor shall affliction come near your tent, for to His Angels God has given command about you, that they guard you in all your ways. Upon their hands they will bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone." Psalm 91: 10-12

needs

2007-07-12T16:38:00.000+08:00

When u nd smone, muz there b a reason behind it? Wat if the reason is just "I need you"? Does it count? How many time did u felt you needed smone but no one was there? Countless, for me...

"You noe I need u but u pretend not to noe, y?" Do u always ask urself tt? I do.

~~many counts and STILL counting...~~

Bad Day... Always...

2007-07-12T10:59:00.000+08:00

Everyday, smth or smone will mk the day a bad one for mi. Be it work, family, fren, bf or even strangers... I'm already looking like a 'black widow' today, I seriously dun need the mood to fit in!
Early morning, i was late for work.
Then I realise I forgot to bring the credit card and the account number.
But I was happy cuz I manage to get my timetable done and I only need to go to sch for 2 weekday.
Then I received sm unhappy emails.
Then I read an unhappy blog.
Then i spoke to an unhappy person.
Then I became unhappy.
Then I blog abt an unhappy entry.

You see how everything influences everything and everyone? Can't I juz ignore all the unhappiness? I'm sick of having short-lived happiness. Just ytd, I was piss w the damn SIM eCR. But my anger subsides very quickly as I went shopping and bought real cheap stuff. So cheap that I only spent [$20-$10voucher= $10] for 2 tops + 1 shoes. You see, shopping makes me happy. Yeah, but that is if I get good bargain. So I went home happily, taking 518 with Nad and we got seats, which was surprising as it's usually damn crowded and the best thing of all, I forgot to tap my ez-link when I board. I really din realise until I alight as it was giving me the error. Cool. A free ride home! So u see, overall, thou work sucks as usual, lunch wasn't tt fantastic, SIM portal was damn lousy, but I was happy @ the end of the day. I even 'showed off' my rewards to everyone @ hm! I feel so proud to buy cheap stuff. And i went to bed happy!

I thot I could be happy today. Cuz I managed to get my timetable done thou the SIM portal is still as lousy. But tt's all. My work still sucks big big time! But c, I really dun wanna mention y it is so bad. No point as I choose it myself. And I got myself into this damn contract. I swear I'm nv gonna work here after I graduate. People here aren't friendly, they dun 'socialise'. Work here is nt challenging, yet people are like so busy, can even complain abt stupid things like 'I'm so busy but I'm going off @ 530pm?!"

I heard this in the lift, from the damn-unfriendly-short-man-who-thinks-he's-damn-bloody-great-and-busy:
Woman: "Hey, how come you came from upstairs?"
Man: "Cuz I went up to give smth." (going home)
Woman: "Oh.."
Man: "Haiz, MY Ebonne is not ard, so busy... If 1 person can do 2 person's job, den y do they need to hire the extra person, rite?"
Woman: "Haha.. Ya la..."

So I was tinking and telling myself, "True, but if that's the case, why should the staff be entitled to long leave of 10 days in a row? And you should nv go on leave cuz ur Ebonne will have to do 2 person's job oso! And if u're so damn busy, y do I see u leaving office @ 5:30pm? This just mean smth, 1 person (in this place) can definitely do 2 person's job!!!"

Not tt I wanna compare, but seriously, you guys are damn lucky to work here. Busy?! You all probably nv had a taste of what being BUSY is really like. Try working in Citi, not trying to prove anything, but try it and u'll know! Cuz I bet u'll NEVER see daylight when you leave your office. Most of the time, I see stars when I left the office. Actually, to be accurate, it's literally everyday. Only on days that the moon will be 'blue', I'll see sunset.

Kuku

2007-07-11T10:07:00.000+08:00

Made a great blunder ytd... Like what my darling said, I only read what I wanna read. True! I've been reading it for the past 1 week, yet, I din realise, all along, it was written 'Year 2 Students going Year 3' (yellow underline)... So mine should be the the 2nd one.. Haiz... Maybe sub-consciously, I am hoping I'll graduate soon.. Haha...

So tinking that it was @ 6pm, I rush to my darling's place as it was nearer from my work place and I really reached his house on time. So there I was trying to access the portal for registration but it kept on giving me error, saying it's nt open yet. I tried till 6:10pm, still it gives me the error.. So I re-read this page again, word by word, trying to understand what each word means.. Finally, I understood! Good! But I feel so stupid... Cuz I even told Rong it was ytd.. Haiz... Both of us was so excited till I even wanted to help her register as she can't mk it ytd. Haiz........ I've been blurred for the past 1 week. Sad!!

So, I have to borrow my darling's laptop and gotta carry the so-called 'portable' but damn heavy computer ard today. Cuz I'm going Marina Square to shop later.. Haiz.. So I gotta chiong my way there, sit @ sm fast food restaurant w wireless broadband, login and start my registration... Kinda stupid la, but I dun wan to miss shopping. Haiz.. I'm so crazy w shopping, be it virtual or not. I feel like shopping online again! Die... But really got nice top!! Oh, and I tink it's kinda safe, cuz I've already received my 1st online item in good condition. Lurve it!!

~~I made a promise to myself in the bathroom this morning.. That is, to get a really portable laptop in future.

Newspapers....

2007-07-10T16:00:00.000+08:00

I'm forcing myself to read the online Business Times and Financial Times. Well, becuz I hope I wun have to force myself to read one of these days. It'll do me good to keep myself updated with the economy and the daily happenings, and of course, I'll be able to familarise myself with the financial jargons. I tink I'm very "bookworm" as in I only read my study guides and notes, but not what is really happening in the real world. Well, gotta get myself ready for the future! Haha... As if I'm gonna be some career woman.. Haha.. But well, it's kinda what I always imagine myself to be! :)

"I love Business Times!"
"I love Financial Times!"

School & Stuff

2007-07-10T09:51:00.000+08:00

Bored at work. Bored of surfing the Internet. Bored, bored bored. So I re-vamp my slide. But it doesn't take long too. So, am back to being bored again... Life is so, erm, bored?! But it's beautiful cuz I'm going on a holiday in like 3 weeks time! Haha... So the looking-so-damn-forward feeling is keeping me coming to work everyday. I tink it's difficult for me to drag myself to work after the holiday. Well, but it'll be only be like a few weeks b4 sch starts for me. So I should be able to tahan till then.

So it's the selection for timetable today. I had decided on the modules to take but only yesterday, den I discovered I need to take a compulsory module, thou they give you 3 choices. Yes, economics.... God, save me!!! I dun hate econs, I just can't excel in it. I wanna take modules that can help me path the way to my aim of 1st class honours or @ least 2nd upper, but haiz, tink I can only dream about it.... But oh well, @ least I'm nt taking modules like maths, so I guess I shld be relieve?! Hmmm.. I need to start revising very very soon.... Else, dun tink I can catch up. The thought of year 2 is kinda scary thou. Year 1 wasn't tt smooth and easy already, can't imagine year 2. Anyway, I'm gonna do my best and 'try' not be so lazy.. But it's really difficult cuz I'm really a slacker!!!

And so, the modules I'm taking would be mostly or maybe all financial modules. Accounts, financial reporting, corporate finance and Macroeconomics (maybe)... Initially, I wanted to try Law of Business Organisations, but well, becuz of econs, I had to give up law. Since year 1, I've been tinking of selecting law as an elective, cuz I guess it helps in one way or another. And I tink it'll be interesting... Haiz.. But well, I shld be taking other subjects tt are more useful and relevant..

So I've decided!! I need to chiong back home to be the kiasu student and login @ 6pm. I dun want a sucky timetable!!!

The "Assassins"

2007-07-09T15:45:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, people ard you juz seems to be 'assassinating' you. Either with actions or with words. Even the person closest to or furthest away from you will do that. I know I 'assassinate' people sometimes, but I dun do it most of the time as I usually dun fake it! Yeah, the faking part comes in again.. I juz dun understand y sm people can fake it out and try n b nice to u for a moment, but 'stab' you the next moment. I still believe that, if you dun like me, den dun fake it! Cuz the feeling just sucks! I really dun mind losing you in my social circle.

SLUT!!!!!

2007-07-06T15:04:00.000+08:00

I know tt's a really mean word to use. But pls, pardon me. I juz can't contain the anger in me. I've been thru so much "drama" already. I dun need 1 more!

Go get a life, bitch!!! It's ur own doings that's making guys DITCH u, ok?! Wake up! If u know how to portray urself as a decent woman, u will den find smone who treasures u n nt treat u like shit! If dying for a man is worth it, well then, y din u choose to jump down? Huh? Fast n guaranteed to die! I tell u, u r nt depress that u wanna die, u juz wan attention. Bloody attention seeker! Only stupid ppl will entertain u! I definitely wun ever buy that! And all the attention you need is from men! Hey! Can't live w/o men huh?! Need one so much till u gotta throw urself @ attached men?! Downright slutty fucking bitch! I feel so so like giving u one TIGHT slap!

Please juz go for a sex change. Cuz u r such a disgrace to women!

Go.....

2007-07-06T09:07:00.000+08:00

I duno wat I've done to deserve this. Why? Am I too lucky that I shld go thru sm sufferings every other week? I wish I could juz let go. Let go of everything. It's wrong. All from the start. I really had enuff..... Juz go...

I really nd the pills that erase bad memories. No doubt there are good ones, but I rather erase all away than keep any single one!

"Nad, could u buy me some? Or can I be a volunteer to let them try on mi? I seriously dun mind nt being paid a single cent! I dun wan all these useless memories!!!"

Inhumane Buggers!!!

2007-07-05T16:26:00.000+08:00

Came across this blog and totally agreed with what it says on the 1st entry. But it's scary tt tis kinda thing is happening to our neighbouring country, which is juz one causeway away... I really can't imagine how the ger felt when she was raped in front of the bf... It muz be traumatising for both. You can read the full article here. And I tink there were 4 cases of robbery cum raped cases thatt happened in juz 1 mth in Johor.

Here's a short summary:
On Monday 11 June, a 19-year-old woman was abducted with her boy-friend, and robbed. The couple was brought to an abandoned hut in Taman Tampoi Indah where she was gang-raped by three of the four robbers while her boyfriend was forced to watch. The case on Monday was the fourth known case since late April.
• Early May - 28 year old pregnant woman robbed and gang-raped in Plentong in the presence of three-year-old son, after robbers had forced their way and drove off the car at a petrol station near Tampoi where the husband had stopped to answer nature’s call.
• On May 22, another robbery-cum-gang rape took place in Pantai Lido, and about two weeks ago along the Pasir Gudang Highway.
• 5th June around 10 pm - A construction contractor and female companion at a petrol station at Pasir Gudang highway overpowered by three armed robbers who drove off with them as hostages. Both robbed and female victim gang-raped at Kempas area.
~Adapted from Sean

This is so so scary... It makes me tink twice if I shld go Johor later this month... Hmmm...

last friday~~

2007-07-04T11:35:00.000+08:00

Had an "eating spree" with the gals last friday. We went to maxwell market to have the really-thumbs-fingers-up chicken rice, egg tart, hum chee peng and black sesame paste... Ate till we were so full... But nice... I like to indulge in good food, be it restaurants, hawker centres or coffee shops... N we went for a tour in the buddha tooth relic temple juz oppsite maxwell market. But we had to technically "wrap" ourself up as no mini-skirt, shorts, off-shoulder tops, bare shoulder tops, basically, revealing tops and bottoms are allowed. Luckily the loan of their sarongs are free-of-charge, else, dun tink we'll enter... But the sasd thing is, we were just in time for the closing ceremony of the tooth relic.. :( So we saw no tooth, or maybe it's relic? Actually, i'm nt sure what it is.. But I imagine it to b a tooth w colourful "pearls"! Haha..

And the finale for the day was midnight shopping @ Orchard. Kinda disappointed w Far East as most of the shops are closed. The only places whr business is as per normal were wisma and taka. Both jun and I got ourselves smth from topshop.. Hehe... We actually wanted to go back after the shopping as there were still buses and mrt, but we ended up @ Balcony for a drink. We still wanted to just chill for a while and catch the last bus home, but the place was juz so nice that we decided to hang ard longer since it's sat tmr and order snackies.. Haha.. This sounds more of like "piggies-night-out"... Oh, and Balcony really has cool chairs. Rocking chairs for all patrons on the 1st level.. Cool, u can juz sit, chill, 'rock' urself (sounds kinda disgusting) and chit chat till the wee hours... Oh, and 1 great thing abt the place is that, they're open 24hrs. How cool.. We jokingly mentioned that we can juz sit and wait for breakfast to be serve and catch the 1st train/bus home.. Haha... But of course we din...

Anyway, photos are w jun...

**"Jun, send the photos soon ya? :)"

???Quene???

2007-07-03T16:50:00.001+08:00

Ok, realise I spelt 'Queue' as 'Quene'...

Oh, how stupid!!!

time-off

2007-07-03T16:36:00.001+08:00

Haha.. I did smth daring today. I left for lunch ard 12 and went to UOB to quene up for a change of savings account to campus account. But the quene was damn long... So after waiting for half an hr, i decided to go buy lunch, then go bk to office n eat, then come down to UOB again (the 2 building are juz separated by a road, haha...) So I did as plan, but I was kinda late as I miss my quene number after I went down around 1.15... So I took another quene number and again, I have to wait for another 22 people b4 my turn. So I went back to office and decide to come down about half an hr later. But again, I missed my quene! F***!! So i took the 3rd number for day.. Luckily, there was an abandoned number and it was 2 number ahead of the number that I actually told... But still, I had to wait for like 14 people.... But being so damn determined to get this done by today, I sat and waited! Haha... And it was 1.45 already.. Luckily quite a few people din turn up for their numbers, so I only had to wait 15mins... But the whole process took ard 30mins... Kinda long, but @ least, it's done!!! Finally!!! It has been weighing on my mind for like the past 9 months or so (cuz the date on the application form stated sep 06... Haha...) But I was only bk to office ard 245... Luckily no one notice!! Heng ah!!! And the best thing of all is, I told the counter staff who was serving me tt I actually took time-off from work, but I din tell her it was "self-declared". Haha...

So now, I have my campus account which comes w chequing facility & higher interest as compared to normal savings account! Cool, I hav my own cheque book.. Hehe... But no money in account, so it's kinda useless... ;P

headache...

2007-07-02T15:27:00.000+08:00

Just logon to SIM portal and saw that the course selection is next week. Was reading through almost all the modules that we can choose. Most of the modules that I wanna tk is recommended for yr 3. Probably that's becuz i'll help us better in the working society and so we wun forget it if we took it in yr 3. So I have only decided on 2 modules. Haiz... Still got 2 more... Headache!!! I thot of taking law as 1 of the modules, but duno if I'm actually throwing myself into a shit bowl. Haha... Anyway, I've got a week to think about it.

Anyway, I tink I've got the monday blues. And I'm wearing blue. So that explains why the text are in blue.

No mood for anything. I dun wan to entertain anything, anybody!

Holiday... Finally!!!

2007-06-29T14:07:00.000+08:00

We've confirmed our holiday to be on the 2nd Aug to 5th Aug to Perhentian Island. Hehe... So excited! I hope the snorkeling and resort would turn out good. As this resort that we choose wasn't the best choice. We wanted the better resort as they have their own house reef. But it was fully-booked. Even 2 months in advance... So sad... Seems that the island is kinda population! Cuz resorts are mostly fully-booked!

New Cocohut Resort is the one we've booked. I like the exterior design.. But i'm not too sure about the interior until I'm there myself. The toilet looks like erm... public toilets? But cleaner.. And the huts are made of timber, so maybe there's termites? And the bed looks juz normal. And all I hope would be for the seaview out from the room can make up for the very basic setup of the room! Anyway, I guess we won't stay in room most of the time, so should be alright!

I'm so looking forward to snorkeling again. Especially this time round where we'll be brought to places where we will see sharks, sea turtle, nemo, jellyfish, stingray, etc, etc... Haha.. I know jellyfish isn't smth anyone would like to see. Same here.. Cuz most probably, I tink we'll get sting by it. I guess that's what happening there as many said that there were quite a few jellyfish... Hmmm, I just hope we wun be the unlucky ones. But again, I believe the beautiful,, crystal clear sea would make up for anything! Haha.. Well, the pictures speak for themselves!

That's the hut that we'll be staying in

View from the restaurant

Pulau Rawa - 1 of our snorkeling spot

Pulau Susu Daru - another of our snorkeling spot

P.S. I Love You

2007-06-28T09:49:00.000+08:00

Yeah!!! Finally! It's coming out!

Ok, what I meant was a movie that's gonna be released end of this yr or beginning of the next! I'm reading this love novel by Cecelia Ahern.. Great storyline.. And it totally describe my feelings more than a year ago. It was a book that makes me wanna cry on mrt... Yes.. I usually dun feel touch by any storybook until I read this! So this is the second time I'm reading the book and I remembered that they were saying that someone is gonna flim the story into a movie, how true!! Long-awaited movie for me! I'll definitely watch it, hope it'll be good. Everyone, go watch it if u like romance movie.

A little summary of the story~~~
Holly and Gerry were childhood sweetheart. All their life, they're together. Friends and family couldn't deny that they were the perfect match. But one day, they were force to leave each other, by God's will, as Gerry was diagnoised with brain cancer. So they spend the rest of his days together, never left each other's sight. Even till the very last breath of Gerry... After Gerry's departure, Holly was all alone. She lost her best friend, her soulmate, her husband, her everything. So she let herself be depress, stayed @ home and never step out for weeks.

One fine day, she decided she should go visit her mum and also to pick up her mail that has been left there for more than a month. She thot it wasn't anything important as the most important thing/person has already left her. But to her surprise, it wasn't just a tiny little piece of letter, it was a parcel. She thot it was from Gerry as on the top of the parcel, it wrote 'The List'. It was a list tt Gerry joked abt how he would need to write dw all the things to remind Holly's of her carelessness. But well, Gerry's dead, she knows that for a fact, so it won't be from him. But still she was eager to know who it was from.

So home she went to open the parcel. Out fell 10 envelopes n a letter. Gerry's handwriting! Yes, he really wrote her a list. And all 10 envelopes had months indicated on it. Gerry wanted to help Holly to live on, happily. So he wants her to do smth for herself n for him, every month, hoping to give Holly the strength to move on. So what were written in the small envelopes? Haha.. Go watch the movie! ;P

~Sexy~

2007-06-27T16:25:00.000+08:00

Damn bored at work. Today really got nothing to do. Nothing @ all. So I was surfing the net as usual. Replying to emails from not customers or colleagues but.. hehe... friends..

So i still have this urge to splurge on shopping. So I went to eMALL and browse thru almost all the online shops. Haha... But today, my mood is more into lingerie! But eMALL doesn't have much lingerie. So gotta depend on Google!!

Sexy lingeries! OMG! Some are really sexy... Haiz.. If only I had the body of those models, I would get all of them! Haha... But maybe I should juz get myself one huh... ;P

Oh, of course, i saw lotsa sex toys.. Hehe... There's this vibrator, it's called "Special Edition World Cup 2006"... Haha... Funny...

Complex

2007-06-27T10:28:00.000+08:00

I'm having the gastric pain from the Vitamin B Complex. It always come and go fast. But I wonder why it happens. Only vitamin B. Why? Maybe my body rejects it cuz it wants to stay depress and stress? Haha.. Click here to find out what I mean.

~`~`confused~`~`

2007-06-26T16:08:00.000+08:00

Good things come to an end

Bad things come to an end

Everything comes to an end

Since we've reached the end, wat's left?

Sometimes, we just try so hard. So much so that it doesn't even matter. Just like Linkin Park's "In the End"...

Should I cancel or go for it? If I go, wat does it mean?

I shouldn't tink so much. Too much time has been waste on thinking. Probably tt explains why I'm so blank out these few days.

I need to go jogging. Join me? Swimming oso can. Badminton oso not too bad. But shopping would be the best of all!

Ok, my thots are all jumbled up. I can't blog in paragraph today. It's just so scattered. Everywhere.

New Dimension?

2007-06-25T10:52:00.000+08:00

Maybe non will believe, but it's true.

--

I went for a breather, hoping to seek solace. I found the place. I sat there, looking out to people running pass, look up into the sun setting sky (hoping to see God) and thinking nothing in the head. Smses came in from a concern fren and another smone. But it doesn't help. So I took out my book which I've decided to re-read. Once again, the book made me relax. Time seems to pass by fast as I was so engross in the book. It wasn't too long before I realise i couldn't read as there wasn't light. So I made my way out of the plc. I took a stroll back, slowly.. I was just walking n walking n walking with my iPod on. I kinda felt numb to everything. I kinda couldn't tink. I was juz so free from everything till I actually believe that my heart has stopped beating for a moment. Becuz I had to struggle to pull myself back to reality. That indescribable feeling is juz too scary. I really felt as if my soul had left the body for tt short while. Till now, I still couldn't explain what had happened. I know it sounds crazy. But I really had tt moment. The moment when the used-to-be-familiar surrounding looks alien to u, the brain is nt thinking and u just couldn't make sense of a single thing tt's around u. Even the song tt is playing on my iPod seems so weird.

I still have the after-effect now. When I'm in a crowd, it seems that I'll be in a trance once in a while and I'll have to snap myself bk to reality. It's nt gd. But I guess I'm still sane. Else, I wun b blogging.

But what has happened?

Not Again?!!

2007-06-22T09:55:00.000+08:00

Why is it that the resort is so popular? I'm so sad.... It's also fully booked for August.... Why why why???? We have to re-decide which resort we want now... Else, no holiday for us..

Anyway, i've managed to work through monday, wednesday, thursday & friday!!! Yeah! What an achievement! Haha...

--

It's our day of the month again! 17mths! Wow... Been really a wonderful journey. Full of ups and downs but yet we're still holding on. Guess it's gonna get tougher but I hope we'll just make it thru! Thx to the people ard us tt helped us along the way. U know who u r, and we're really greatly appreciative for your support! :)

Thou it's such a special day to us, but we've decided to celebrate with a true fren! Hehe..

Weird

2007-06-20T17:10:00.000+08:00

Maybe i'm juz paranoid/sensitive. But I really don't feel good about it.

M.O.N.D.A.Y

2007-06-18T09:53:00.000+08:00

Ok, monday sucks! I hate my work! I guess most of you know that. I complain to everyone I see... So u know how sucky it gets here...

Anyway, I met a 'new' colleague in the office. Thou I see him around since last 2 weeks, but it's today, then he officially introduce himself. One thing about caucasian is that, they are extremely friendly and welcoming. I was given a new seat and he happen to walk by and just said 'hi'. That's what I call friendly! It just makes you feel good. I guess many Singaporeans are still far far far away from being friendly. We usually ignore people who doesn't have any "business deal" with us. As much as I hate to admit, we're basically too practical.

Anyway, I'm going on leave tomorrow! Haha.. So it makes monday easier to pass by. Oh ya, I was on MC on fri. Cool huh! But, it's all unpaid. So it's nt tt cool afterall... :(

Calling all my dearest friends!! Let's go out whenever you are free!! I'm so bored with life... I need some excitement to give me a reason to "live on"!

NeW TeMpLaTe

2007-06-14T14:29:00.000+08:00

Yup, too bored @ work, so decided to change the look of my blog.. Been a long time since i've done that...

Yeah, I like the blue sea and the girl jumping in the mid air.. It's juz has a calming effect on me. Probably becuz I juz love the sea. "& just let go". Yeah, it's wat we always hear but not do. Haha.. Anyway, I just like the template!

~~Oh! Smone in the office just offered me a drink for tea break. He's an Australian! Cool, but I rejected it.. Cuz I still have my BK drink.. I thot I was forgotten here.. Hmmm...

--Bored--Bored--Bored--

2007-06-13T15:01:00.000+08:00

I've gotten myself a damn damn useless and boring job.. I'm so sad.. There goes my plan to work OT, to work in a bank, to gain some knowledge, to experience busy work life... It won't happen for the next 2 mths+... I tell u, I'm seriously sad.. Thou I'm in a bank, it seems so dead here.. People ain't tt friendly, work are really nt stressful nor heavy. So I dun understand why are they hiring a temp to sit and do nothing for practically the whole day. I feel so cheated... It was as if the work load is damn heavy during the interview. But the true situation is, it's not true. They seriously do not need a temp. Really dun... I really dun wanna sit and get paid.. I feel so awkward here.. I just wanna get out!! But they are juz so irritating cuz i'm bonded until the day they do nt nd mi, else i'll have to pay them! It's so stupid!!! I shouldn't have signed the contract... ARGH!!!!! Can you imagine I'm juz dragging the time to do 1 task tt takes only 5mins to more than an hour? Ask me how to do tt? Juz surf the net, blog, go toilet, go tk water, go hav long lunches and come bk to tt 5min task. And the best part of all is, I have to go round asking people if they've got anything for me to do. And all they can say is, "Nothing @ the moment. :)" So wat should I do back @ my desk? Continue to surf the net, blog, go toilet and go pantry. Haiz.. I hate this kinda life!!! Luckily I'm going on a trip to Perhentian nx mth, else I really duno what to surf!! Haiz...

I miss Citibank...

Met an ex-colleague on MRT the other day.. He updated me on the happenings in Citi.. Makes me wanna go back and work!! @ least I won't be so lonely, so bored and so free. And I can also learn more from them as they are now a bigger team.... Haiz.. And one of the other ex-colleague smsed me and said they are actually looking for temp!!!! OMG!!! How I wish they could pay for my breaching of contract and hire me. But it's not possible, cuz no one in the right mind would do that for a temp.... :(

Anyway, back to the trip. i'm confirmed going to Perhentian Island! Yeah! It's just beside Redang but it's nt as well known as Redang so it isn't tt commercialised! Good! But the bad thing abt nt commercialised is that Singapore doesn't have much tour package. In fact, I only saw 1 so far. So to book for the trip, I can only depend on internet where the travel agency are mainly from Malaysia.. So I guess I'm gonna suffer the exchange rate difference.. The information on the island are really limited... Have been searching and searching but the information are more or less similar.. Sianz!! So after I'm back, I should put up more information!! Haha...

Photos of the island!!

~~Perhentian Island~~

This is where I'm gonna stay!

Ok, cool isn't it? Coral reef are juz right in front of our room, off the beach!!! And the snorkeling trip will bring us to swim with big sea turtles and even sharks! OMG! I can't wait to go man!! But the journey from SG to the resort will take approx. 11hrs by coach and speedboat.. But I guess it'll be longer for us as we're gonna try taking our own transport to JB and buy a bus ticket from there.. So probably 13hrs??!! Haha...

Turning Point~~

2007-06-01T13:12:00.000+08:00

Everyone has their history and past. No one is perfect. And of course, we are not answerable to anyone about our past except God.

I had a friend who told me this b4 but I couldn't agree nor understand what she meant. Now I do.. It's what we experience in the past that makes us who we are today. Yes, we are still very affected @ times, we regret, we hope to turn the hands of time back, we try to invent "time machine", but we all know, it's never gonna happen. Personally, I do have regrets but if we could see it from the positive angle, it's through the regrets that we had, we learnt to treasure. Because we never wanna have the same regrets again. It's part and parcel of life to fall and stand up again, isn't it? Everyone has to experience this. And when we are able to pick ourselves up and move forward again, it's our turning point. Something we can share with others, something we will remember and not repeat the same mistake again.

I guess the courage to stand up and try walking again is the toughest yet the strongest part. I've experience it myself and I really feel 'stronger' than before. And of course during the struggling period, support and encouragement are the most important factors. And I still remember the people who have helped me and I sincerely treasure and thank them till today. Thou words are not said, I believe they've felt it thru actions! :) And so I hope, with the 'strength' I have today, I can do a good job and help my loved ones and friends.

I really do not care about the past, it's the future that I wanna see results. So people out there, if you are still thinking or mulling over the past events, stop it!! Don't look back, we should all look ahead! :)

Quiz...

2007-05-26T11:41:00.000+08:00

Hehe... Saw this quiz on a friend's blog. Thot it was quite interesting!

Your Birthdate: March 8

You love being in love... so much so that it's very hard for you to be single.Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you!Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time.
Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2
Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 3
You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanforyourlovelifequiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Yeah!!! Exams are over! It's time to work and travel!!

Updates~~

2007-05-19T18:39:00.000+08:00

Been quite a long while since the last post. Was busy revising for exams... But still have 1 last paper to go.. After thurs, I'm free! Yeah! Just can't wait for 5:30pm on friday.. Haha..

Exams were kinda tough. Mayb I din study hard enuff. Haiz.. Must really put in more effort next yr. First class honours is drifting further and further away from me.. :( Will have to buck up!

Thot of taking a short break after the exams with my beh beh and mayb friends too! That is if anyone can join. Haha.. Singapore is just too stressful. Need to get away and breathe fresher air! Haha.. I'm bad, I know. But I'm sure many will agree with me.

Talking abt vacation, my initial plan was to go thailand again but it's moonsoon season. How sad... So we plan to go prob in jan, and in the meantime, we can save more money and enjoy ourselves better! Haha... So the next plan was to go Malaysia since we wanna smth cheaper. Thot of langkawi, but find tt it's not as nice as Phuket and it's actually more expensive! Took a look at Pahang, but the beach wasn't too fascinating. Then considered KL and Genting but June holiday, it'll be damn crowded. Hmmm... So probably, maybe, we'll settle for Tioman. But Redang would be very nice. Just that it's kinda ex... So anyone interested, let me know ya? Can go together. Hehe...

Oh ya, had quite a bad day ytd.. My toe nail was hit twice in a day and the 2nd hit finally broke it! Oh my gosh, damn painful. The nail din really drop off, there was still a little tiny bit attached to the skin. Yucks!! So beh beh gotta pull it out. Ouch!!! He was fast enuff.. So the pain was still bearable...It took a while b4 the bleeding stops. Luckily I wasn't alone, else I wouldn't know how to deal with it. And I so called limp a bit and reach my aunt's place for a cousin's birthday bbq party.. Everyone found it painful when I told them what happened.

The bbq was good, had a great time with my cousins. But it'll be perfect if beh beh was there too. Too bad he gotta leave for Qatar early morning... Hmmm... Still feeling unsettled even thou he had already reached there safe and sound. Probably I've never experience him outta Singapore w/o me going along. Haiz.. We're so weird, can quarrel like nobody's business and the next moment, we are like inseparable. I know my friends find it funny. Ya, sometimes, I do tink so too.. Haha.. Just hope he'll be able to come bk good and well cuz the weather is really too hot! Imagine 36 degrees!!!

Alright, wanna do some research on travel stuff b4 it's down to books again... Haiz... Still feeling feverish... It's so terrible to fall sick now....

++Me, Myself and Mine++

2007-04-23T12:20:00.000+08:00

"It's all abt me."

"I'll do everything myself."

"My life is mine."

That's what comes out from someone who is self-centered. And obviously, that's me. I admit that I love to say these sentences but tell me, who doesn't have a part of them to themselves? It's just a matter of how much. Probably mine is too extreme till people can't understand. Oh well, I dun need anyone to understand who I really am cuz it doesn't matter @ all.

And it is this "quality" of mine that's making people ard me having misunderstandings. People can't believe why I had to do things to hurt them while I had nv have the intentions. I dun like to treat people whom are close to me with a mask. I dun like to use tactic to handle them. I want to be myself in front of them. But I realise, this is wrong. If you want to have people ard you to "love" you, you have to fake it out. You need to use different methods to handle them. If only life is like 'Sociology', I'll definitely choose the 'Unstructured Interview' method.

Sometimes, I might be so frank that people hate me for that. But I still choose to be straight-forward cuz I don't want to change juz becuz of one's perception. I'm really really stubborn! I know tt's a fact that cannot be denied. Therefore, I must bear the consequences that people will nv "love" me, instead, they'll start to "hate" me cuz I hurt them . But well, it's ok, nvm, I'll tk it in stride!
~~~
Too much had happened recently, prob tt's why I spent lotsa time reflecting. I realise all living things will nv be perfect. And I'm so far away from even being good. So there's only this much I can give. No matter to family, friends, bf, colleagues, acquaintance or strangers. If the 'I' and 'Me' cannot be identified as one, what else can I do? Cuz there will always be a 'I' and 'Me'. There's no way I can be perfect. There's no way I can live a "sin-less" life. There's no way I can mk everyone "love" me.

No way...

Late Night Tests...

2007-04-15T00:11:00.000+08:00

Couldn't get to slp nor have the mood to study! Damn useless me.. Wasted 1 whole day slacking and din study much... Feel so lazy and remorseful... Haiz....... Anyway, it's been super long since I came online at night... Usually it's in the morn.. Haha.. No wonder my fren said she hasn't seen me online for a long long time...

Well, took lotsa self-test @ Tickle . Probably feeling kinda unsure or maybe it's just boredom... Here's some of the result:

Which relationship is right or you?
eve, the thing you need most in a relationship is Quiet Stability

In your ideal world, you would like a relationship structure that is fairly well set — one that doesn't change too often. Although relying on this routine may make it more difficult for you to cope with the inevitable fluctuations within any relationship, you're willing to risk that so you can have a strong sense of stability, security, and privacy with your partner. Because you and your partner would ideally have your patterns set, you'd likely encounter little conflict, and would enjoy the freedom to do your own thing. You desire a comfortable balance of routine and independence, and as long as neither partner's needs are being ignored, neither of you would need a demanding level of intimacy.

Have you found Mr Right?
eve, you've found Mr. Right because You Laugh Together

While you've got a great head on your shoulders, you like to lead the way with your heart. And that's what's telling you that this relationship is "the one." It's simple — you know how to make each other laugh. And you both know how to use humor to diffuse heated arguments and tense situations.You have great confidence and admiration for your guy, even if he's sometimes a little silly. It doesn't matter if your mother-in-law shares your sense of humor or not. You know that she'll learn to love you because the goofy guy you both adore does. That's no joke.

What's you Relationship Destiny?
eve, your relationship destiny is to Find a Fairy Tale Ending

Cinderella, Snow White — those ladies knew what they were doing. And like these fairy tale heroines, you're a princess at heart who believes that love really does make the world go round. Of course, you're not waiting to be swept off on someone's white horse — you're a modern gal who's not afraid to do a little rescuing yourself.Independent and confident, you're not about to rely on fate to give you what you want. You've got the drive and spirit to pursue your dreams and find your own destiny. And you're sure to bump into Prince Charming along the way. That's a happy ending!

The Mind Cafe

2007-03-25T12:25:00.000+08:00

It has been a very long time since I had so much fun! Met up with Mas, Weiling and Nad for my belated birthday celebration. But I guess it's more like celebration for Mas and Weiling as well... Haha.. Cuz they only get to receive their presents ytd...

Anywayz, we went to The Mind Cafe at Boat Quay.. They have quite alot of games... I guess we really like the words and brainless category of games... ;P Cuz that's where we'll laugh, make lotsa noise and really enjoy ourselves... It seems that we are the table that has the loudest laughter.. The other tables seems to be playing more solemn games.. We did tried something that requires more brain power like "Cluedo" but after 2 rounds, we got quite sleepy... Haha.. Anyway, I think it's really a great plc to hang out with frens, the more the merrier.. Time flies when u're at the games.. And we spent like 3 hrs, with 7 glasses of drink, 4 snacks plus the gst and svc chrg, it cost abt $20 per person. I tink it's worth it!

Overall, thou ytd was a really tough day for mi to handle, I really enjoyed myself for that 3 hrs.. Also, it's been so long since we had such a gathering! We're planning for our next meetup!! Yeah!!!!

Stupid B.I.T.C.H

2007-03-13T12:50:00.000+08:00

Oh yes, i mean bitch, the real bitch! She's in this work place which I thought wasn't too bad a place to work as a temp. Thou it's just smth small but I hate the words that came out of her mouth!

For goodness sake, I'm only here on & off, adhoc basis.. I'm not exactly a temp nor a part-timer! Why in the hell would I know who and who belongs to the company? F**K!! Tt's what I wanna say to u! And let me tell you, if that ang moh isn't a foreigner, then what is he???!!! Or do you not understand what is a foreigner? Well, if that's the case, you're so damn pathetic! Go to www.dictionary.com and you'll know what it means! Gosh!! I wanna leave man! Can't stand the sight of her! Freaking old bitch!!

Here's what the old bitch said:
Me: Hi, there's someone outside looking for you.
O' Bitch: Me? Who?
Me: (Looking at the ang moh who's wearing pink shirt!)
Me: I'm not too sure but he's a foreigner.
O' Bitch: FOREIGNER?!?! Huh? Who?
Me: (thinking why she must think so much if she could just come out and take a look!!)
O' Bitch: Ohhhhh!!!! It's Mike.... He's from *company name*, when did he become foreigner???!!
Me: (Ok, fine, watever!! You think I know he's from the company? Mind you, he din write the company's name on his forehead!!)

After a few seconds, O' Bitch came out..

O' Bitch: Hey Mike!! Hey! When did you become a foreigner? Haha.. I thought you are from Volex?!
Me: (Bloody bitch! Is there a need for you to say it damn loud in front of me and tt ang moh?!)

I was damn pissed cuz she was still saying the last sentence out loud while bringing ang moh into the office and i believe everyone heard! I tell you, if ever 1 day, i am the recep again, and someone comes looking for you, I'll just tell you, "Can't you just lift your bloody fat leg from the chair and walk not more than 20 steps to take a look?"

U spoilt my day, I'm sure someone else will spoil yours!!! (>-<)

Animal vs. Human

2007-03-09T18:38:00.000+08:00

"Humans are the only animal that will conceal their feelings.."

Isn't it true? I think so. Think about it, how many time did you hid ur feelings in front of someone? Be it love, hate, anger, sadness, happiness, etc.. I guess everyone of us does that. Probably it's good that we can do so cuz it won't affect the other party. But it might not always do us good. So, if we don't conceal our true feeling, can we really show it out? I believe the answer is a big "NO". Cuz being a human being, we have to put ourselves into others' shoes. We have to consider their feelings. That's life being a person. If there's another choice, I'll ask God to make me an animal. Any animal will do. Even if the lifespan is only 1 day of a human being.

Other than concealing our true feelings, I realise that relationship/feelings between people fades, just like colours fade. We can never find the same old feelings we had for one another after awhile. Unless someone new comes along. Isn't it pathetic? Probably that's why I do not wish to live too long. I'd rather have a short life and enjoy the relationship between others and myself, than to see it slowly fades away...

Reason why I had so much thots today was simply becuz of (T). I duno if I had done the right thing by telling T the right things to do in T's life. I've always wanted T to share my thoughts but apparently, when I'm thinking right but do not want things to be the right way, T seems to always agree with me. I feel that I've taught T abit too much. And one day, after learning so much, T would realise that it's time to move on, to a higher level, to a better teacher. But I really couldn't control myself by not telling T the right things to do. I'm a contradicting person, I know. But I do not wish to let T continue doing what T is doing and just stay there watching. I even taught T how to handle me. I feel so stupid now... Cuz T is starting to practise what I've taught. It's really helping T to feel happier but now, I'm not. So I started concealing my feelings. I started to hid and try to ignore my own feelings. And slowly, I felt that everything is fading away. But I can't take back all those words I've said to T. It's just too late and too bad. The harder I tried to make things back to the way they used to be, the worst it is. Happiness doesn't live long anymore. It comes for a while, but it goes off for a long time. Underlying problems that we've buried for a while will eventually come out. Unless there's a solution, but it's really sad to say, so far, there's no solution.

I should go and have my instant noodles now and conceal my feelings for awhile..

BiRtHdAY = $$$$$

2007-02-08T11:04:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I would like to start thinking about my birthday.. Haha.. Cuz tt's where money might come in.. Pardon me if I'm being too money-minded but I'm really in need of cash... So i'll tell all of u out there, if you are gonna tink of buying me a present, pls save the thots for other more impt stuff! I juz need cash!!! That will be the best present of the year! Definitely!! Any amount will do! It'll be greatly appreciated! ;P

MONEY.. MONEY.. MONEY..

It's because of ...

2007-01-13T14:08:00.000+08:00

stubborness?
revenge?
anger?
disappointments?

Which of the above? I think I know, but I think I dun.

I haven't step outta the hse for 2 full days. I'm gonna do so today. I haven't had enuff of the hse. But I need to take a breather, need to squeeze myself into the crowd, maybe I'll have a clearer picture of everything. As much dvd, tv, youtube as I had for the past 2 days, I still am very awake. Suddenly, I feel like dropping everything and go back to work. I love the feeling work gives me. It numbs me, keeps me busy, gives me money & allows me to have a sense of achievement. That's probably the best thing that could ever happen to me.

Escaping from reality? Haha..

Updates!!

2007-01-05T15:25:00.000+08:00

Working in the shitty place now.. I wanna change job again.. Haiz.. I'm just nt cut out for jobs tt has gotten smth to do w sales or cust svc... My tolerance level is only 3 months, maximum!! I'm looking for sm admin job, smth I would prefer over everything else! Hopefully sm gd-hearted company r looking for part timers so I can get outta here!!

Actually, I wanted to update abt the events over the end of 2006 but haven had the time. Today is just the right time! Yeah! Alright, let's start w Christmas Eve!

++Christmas Eve++
Attended a malay fren's wedding @ Commonwealth area. She was so beautiful tt day! Look so happy too! Am happy tt she finally can settle down with her hubby! Congrats Lyea!!! This is the 1 & only malay wedding that I've been to which is very westernized. Nice pink & white decor and the stage was beautiful decorated in a westernized design. Both the bride & groom weren't wearing traditional wedding costumes, instead, they were wearing gown & suit! Cool!! They serve buffet instead of normal dishes but I din try the food except some desserts. Cuz I wanna save my stomach for dinner!! Hehe.. Took some photos with the bride & groom b4 we left @ abt 6pm to Fort Canning!!

I had a wonderful dinner with my darling @ 'The Legends' which is @ Fort Canning. Actually we weren't tt sure whr was the exact location and we just walk over from SMU. We thot it was kinda near but when I saw the flight of staircase that we had to climb b4 we can reach the top, I regretted not taking a cab up! And worse still, it was raining... But anyway, we had a nice 'romantic' walk up to Fort Canning... Haha.. The deco of the cafe-restaurant was nice & very "christmasly" decorated. The food wasn't too bad, especially the honey-baked ham that I was drooling for. Both of us love the ham but we were to full to eat more of it. The spread of buffet was kinda generous but we din manage to try each & every item and we were super duper full. Weird thing about this buffet is that, they don't serve drinks except ice water, therefore, we ordered red wine! It's nice but I usually get kinda slpy after drinking red wine.. Haha.. We spent like 3 hours in total eating, chatting, taking photos, slacking, listening to 'live' carols being sung and playing "hai dai". Haha.. Very relaxing and fun! We left abt 10pm and headed to hail a cab to VivoCity for our late night movie! But on our way down, I saw a church and we went in for like 15mins as there was a mass going on! This make our day feel a little more like christmas! Hehe.. At least tt's how I feel... So we went Vivo & watch 'The Holiday'. I should tink it's a nice show cuz I only manage to watch the front & ending of the story. Haha.. I was actually dozing off most of the time during the show... Haha.. We ended the day by going to bk to darling's hse to slp.. So tired... *yawnz*

++Christmas++
Woke up kinda late and had to rush bk hm cuz I nd to get my stuff & attend Christmas mass. Went for a small Christmas party tt was organized by the church after the mass. Nt tt fun cuz most of them are aunties, uncles and kids.. But it was nt tt bad oso.. After the 'party', we went hm and slack a little bit more b4 darling gotta go hm. Nt tt exciting for the day, but it was a peaceful christmas!

++New Year's Eve++
It was the day when both me and darling re-united 1 yr ago. It was this day tt we went out after a long long time and sparks flew afterwhich! Hehe.. Therefore, we decided to do same thing as last yr! So we had Pizza @ Pizza Hut and we had the Christmas set. Same as what we choose the yr b4. Haha.. But we din go to a KTV pub but instead went to a fren's hse for a night of mahjong session.. Haha.. We had our little countdown while watching the live telecast of on Ch5 and watch the fireworks for abt 10mins.. My fren's hse has got a gd view of both fireworks @ Vivo & Marina Bay! Hehe..
Sad to say but I'm a loser when it comes to staying overnight, cuz I can nv win the battle between "zhou gong" and keeping awake.. Haha.. We started ard 11pm and ended ard 6.30am. But I was already slping @ abt 5.30am.. Tt was the max I could hold up to. Haha.. I really "pei fu" the rest of them.. We all managed to catch 3 hrs of slp before we headed out for breakfast @ Mac. Afterwhich, we just went home and slp more! Haha.. Too tired for anything else...

Woohoo... Tt's abt all for the celebration for end of 2006! Nice one! ;P Prob. will post some pics up soon! Stay tuned!

Silence~~~

2007-01-04T12:36:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda addicted to youtube! Cuz they've got lotsa taiwan serials.. So cool!! Dun have to spend money or wait for scv to show week by week!! Haha.. I'm watching a new show called "Silence", starring Vic Zhou, Andy Hui & Park Eun Hye! Nice show cuz it's abt a mute girl & guy falling in love with each other after countless misunderstandings. And slowly, they discovered that they were each other's long-lost childhood "lovers". Haha.. Typical taiwan drama serial storyline but it's just nice to watch.. Haha.. I guess the catch of this show is the collaboration between taiwan, hong kong and korea actors & actress. Quite cool actually!

Kk, gonna continue watching! Here's a little preview 4 u! The 2nd part is here!

++Freezing in Progress++

2006-12-23T17:46:00.000+08:00

I had so much to blog abt but can't remember nw.... Brain freeze... Probably I'm too bored, sick and irritated. I have sm unsolved problems which I have no solutions. What should I do?

If only fairies exist... I only nd 2 wishes.

I wanna be like u, yes u... Cuz I couldn't find another person tt resembles me. And I believe I'm the worst human being on earth.

Damn brain freeze..

Thats all for now..

Not ME!!!

2006-11-18T21:57:00.000+08:00

It has been more than a week after the "not-so-dramtic" event but still, I'm suffering from the after-effect... I can't wake up for morning classes at all. My body just tells me to slp and skip the classes... I tried going for the 2nd half of the classes instead, but I failed, on both lessons. I sort of hate the feeling, but what can I do? I really feel the need to rest.. And even thou I had enough slp, I'll feel slpy/drowsy the whole day. It's really bad.. I can't even write well. But I'm slowly regaining the strength to write properly.. I'm glad.. I just hope this will be over very soon. It's disrupting my daily life. Even when I'm out, I nd to avoid crowds. Actually, I'm still fear walking among the crowd.. I'd rather walk take the long route.. Haiz... Basically, I feel like a weakling for the past week...

I really can't explain the boredom inside me... All day long, I'll ask people ard if they feel that life is too boring. Else if nt, I'll ask them if they ever thot they were suffering from depression. I duno wat's wrong with me... I just feel that I'm not the "normal" Eve anymore... What has changed? I'm searching for the answer myself. I just feel I nd smth to spike my life. What is the thing? I would like to know too... Recently, I can cry for nothing.. Really nothing... Probably I'm too stress, but what am I stress with? I'm not sure.. I duno how to describe these feelings of mine to anyone.. It's just undescribable. And I'm getting so impatient. Even if I can't get the notes or rhythm right while playing the guitar, I'll get frustrated with myself! It's not as if I've tried playing for long. It's only twice or so.. I'm really losing it! I nd help but I duno where to get it from. And if you are unhappy and can't understand why am I always writing my inner thots here rather than sharing with you, I'm sorry to say that, I have the freedom to write whatever I want in this space of mine! U know who u are. Get it clear, this is my space. I dun have to answer to anyone on whatever is written. And it is here and in my own private diary that I can express myself freely, without seeking any common understanding nor get interupted while writing my thots. I guess, most bloggers would agree with me..

Life is so DRAMATIC

2006-11-13T16:38:00.000+08:00

Maybe we have never thought of being in a drama ourselves. But one day, when you experience it, you may start to believe that life itself is just like any drama that you are watching..

Recently, a fren's issue really makes me think... It's really too dramatic. But it had already happened. There was apparently nothing I can do to help. Cuz reality is always the most cruel thing on earth.. It made me think of the situation I'm in. It's really hard to confirm on anything.. Esp when dealing with people.. So scary... Anyway, I hope I can be there for the fren. Helping with whatever I can do.

A not-so-dramatic event happened to myself too. At the scene, I was asked the question if the settings are what I've always seen in movies/drama. Haha.. I bet most people would say 'yes'. I was so nervous before it started but after I went thru' it, I realise, it's not as bad as I imagine. But the days are hard to spend.. Probably people are envious of the ample time I have which I can slack or study. But I'm super bored. Sometimes, I just have no mood to study.. I only started to browse thru' a few pages today but dun even fully understand any crap! I'm starting to think that I'm falling so much behind everyone else. Everyone is forming study group to study.. But here I am, writing in my blog... Having stupid thoughts.. Feeling bored.. Life after citibank is really so different. I still miss working there.. I'm crazy as many will say.. I know. But I really miss the super stress up and busy schedules during those times...

I really would LOVE to
- get super busy
- be really tired
- have tight schedules
- know more friends
- have more outings
- earn enough money
- make more new sales
- eat curry
- eat DARK chocolates
- eat mutton nasi brani
- eat yam paste
- eat chocolate prata from Jalan Kayu
- eat beef noodles
- eat kimchi ramen
- eat aijisen ramen

And last but not least, go for a BLUE SKY AND SEA HOLIDAY!!!!

Work!!

2006-10-28T11:08:00.000+08:00

Finally, I found a part-time job. It doesn't clash with my sch and it's flexi hrs and days. Initially, I din quite like the job scope but it was till I'm working there, I start to like it. It's nt a 2 stressful environment and the bosses are so far so gd. But probably this is only the starting... Well, we'll see how it goes later on..

Life with a part time job is really different. At least i'm occupied and dun feel so empty now.. Hehe.. But I have to do time management well, so that I won't neglect my studies.. Just like thurs, I had lessons in the morn, and I stayed in sch to revise till it was time to go to work! Surprisely, it wasn't too bad studying in the library. Thou I was alone, had to lunch alone, but I din felt lonely.. Haha... It was quite an experience for me cuz I really hated loneliness, especially, eating alone. But I guess I can do it now! Yeah! I'm so happy for myself.. I think I sound stupid..

Oh ya, have anyone been to Langkawi? I'm thinking of going there. Somewhere cheaper and still has beautiful beaches.. Hehe.. I'm always thinking of travelling.. I should really curb myself but it's really hard!!! ;P

Not Worth It

2006-10-16T11:33:00.000+08:00

除了想你除了爱你
我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记整理心情
我真的真的想放弃

你始终没有爱过
你在敷衍我
一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心
无力继续

这感情不值得我犹豫
不值得我考虑
不值得我爱过你
这种回忆不值得我提起
不值得想起
不值得哭泣

这段感情早就应该放弃
早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你不值得我恨你
不值得我为你而坏了心情
我决定不为你而毁了心
放弃爱你

Suddenly, I'm so in love with this old old song... Sometimes, it's really not worth the effort at all...

Bad Night

2006-10-15T09:59:00.000+08:00

Din really have a sound sleep last nite... Seems that there were so much on my mind. Recently, I've been feeling that life is so boring.. Probably I din not have to work and ended up with too much free time. And sad to say, friends are starting to drift further and further away from me. Not that anyone wants to but all are busy with their stuff. I seems to be the only "free" one.. It's good to have lotsa free time cuz that's when you could sit and study for distinctions! But that's not the kind of life that I want. My routine is to go to school and go home. No shopping for me cuz I do not have income and even if I do, I have to save it up for fees. No good food for me cuz I settle 2-3 meals a day at home, with the same food. I listen to the same songs again and again while I tried to study. I watch the same show 3 times a day till I get so bored. I wanna go out but with no money nor people to accompany me, where can I go?

Overall, I just feel so "sick" of my life. Hopefully with the new job, life will be more interesting.. And of course, I hope there'll be lesser arguments and quarrels.. I'm getting "sick" of those too!!

Beach Resorts

2006-09-20T11:52:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. Did my research again on beach resorts in Thailand.. I just like to stay in beach-front resorts.. Cuz I can juz stare blankly at the beautiful sea and do nothing else.. I really can't wait to go for another trip to Thailand.. But it may be 3-4 years time from now... Haiz... If only I could go again next year...

Anyway, I juz like to dream, imagine and think about it! ;P So my next targetted place might be Krabi or Koh Samui.. Maybe even back to Phuket.. Hehe.. I just love Phuket!!! A real balance of relaxation and fun.. But I would prefer to go somewhere else and I've more or less targetted Krabi.. Hehe.. But I dun really like the rock/cliffs that are around the beach. I just like the view of sea and sky w/o any blockage!! But nvm, i juz wanna find out more about Krabi..

And I realise Krabi is more lay back as compared to Phuket. But it's ok, I love it! Cuz I dun really seek lotsa fun, I'll prefer to soak myself in the sea or swimming pool or even juz laze ard in the room, enjoying the sea breeze @ the balcony... Woah, so shiok right?! And it's really relaxing to just walk along the beach w ur partner... Or just sitting by the balcony, having small chats, drinking a cold drink, eating some snacks/fruits... I really miss those time in Phuket.. I just feel that we had too much activities till we were so tired.. Not the ideal relaxation that I wanted but it wasn't that bad..

How I wish I could strike a BIG lottery, then I would use the $ to stay in the most beautiful beach resort!!! But I guess I could dream on, cuz I won't be the lucky one.

...Women...

2006-08-29T21:15:00.000+08:00

Generally, we behave/react in similar ways..

1) We experience mood swings on & off.
2) We never like to say what we want most of the time.
3) We need more attention as compared to men do.
4) We prefer men to fulfill our emotional needs than "material" needs.
5) We experience PMS.
6) We tend to be more vulnerable.
7) We are soft-hearted.
8) We are indecisive.
9) We prefer actions to words.
10) We cry, no matter how tough we may appear to be.

Why do women cry?
1) We cry when we quarrel.
2) We cry when we are sad.
3) We cry when we are angry.
3) We cry when we don't know how to bring words across.
4) We cry when we are too disappointed.
5) We cry when we are lost.
6) We cry when in fear.
7) We cry when we feel for others.
8) We cry when we are heart-broken.
9) We cry when we are too stressed-out.
10) We cry when we are being badly treated.

There are lots of other similar behaviour and reaction that most women share. I'm saying most women, not all.. Maybe when you are reading this, you will say it's untrue, but I believe, most women will agree with me.. Why the sudden thot of blogging about women? Sometimes, I just feel that we are not understood by men out there.. But I guess, this is vice versa. Men and Women are 2 very different being. Some say the differences are to complement each other, but how does it work? Some of the differences are easy for both men & women to accept.
E.g. Men will pamper women when they are tired by holding them and let them rest their head on his shoulder. The man feels good when he pamper his woman. And the woman feels loved when he does that. Why can't women let the man rest his head on her shoulder when he's tired? She definitely can do that, but most woman tend to give her man a good massage. Maybe it has something to do with the men's ego or maybe it is being socially defined that men should do this instead of women. Different people have different argument. For me, I think it's both..

Back to the differences.. Sometimes, it's really hard to accept the differences between men and women. Even the same gender may not be able to accept the differences between them, not to mention the other gender.. But why do people still fall in love? To create more trouble or to make life happier? And why do some choose to be with another of the same gender and not the other? To me, I think it's all about feelings.. When you love someone, you may tend to look beyond everything. As many will say, "Love is Blind".. It's true, to some extend.. Believe many would have thot they were to blind to love someone they have loved in the past, but when you were in love with that person, have you ever thot you were blind? I bet not.

I'm kinda emotional today.. Many thoughts running in my mind.. Been feeling a little drowsy.. I feel a little lost and unwanted. Maybe a little lack of attention too. It's a normal schooling day for me, but I don't know why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. Mood swing, maybe?

I guess, it's just "being woman"...

Not as Interesting~~

2006-08-12T10:38:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. Life isn't that great after I quit my job and start sch... Probably it's the starting but I tink it's really enuff to spoil my mood...

I went back to Citi and help my managers on a part time basis until the new-comer can handle the job. Well, it's good that I'm getting paid the same amt as I was during my contract period and I'm allowed to go in on a flexible schedule basis.. But I'm being treated like shit! They are obviously making use of me.. But why do I stay on? It's becuz of the high pay... And I need the money to survive and to pay for the damn sch fees!! I just saw the invoice this money, yes, the 473pounds... I really duno what to do about it... Haiz... How I wish I could be richer...

Things just doesn't seem to be that interesting nor exciting for me...

~Start of a New "Life"~

2006-07-29T13:24:00.000+08:00

I've left Citibank, finally.. It's for the good of my future.. I hope! Thinking back, I was always telling people how much I wanna leave but when the day comes, it was different.. I missed going to work, seeing the good and bad colleagues, tinking hard about what to eat for lunch, go shopping ard after lunch, go back to office and try to rush thru work that can never be finished, work OT, chat on the phone when bosses nt ard, the 10cent coffee, the jokes, the anger, the frustration, the laughter, the scoldings, the brainstorming sessions, meetings, etc, etc... Memories, good or bad, will always be with me... I hope they will remember me as a good team player and colleague...

One of my manager actually spend quite alot on my farewell gift.. I was really touched and shocked.. 1st, she gave me a bouquet of flowers, then a very cute notebook, $50 Tangs voucher and treated me to lunch @ Sizzler... Thou at times, I may show them very bad attitude at work, nevertheless, we laugh it off at the end of the day and I saw their appreciation towards me.. Haiz... I shall not think about it and begin my "new journey" in life...

Sch will start very soon! Wonder how things will be... The uncertainy feeling is back again.. Cuz I would have to look for a part time job and cope with studies and work.. And to manage my finances well, in order to survive and nt get naggings too often.. Hehe.. Wonder if I'll be able to adapt and do well... Haiz.. I juz dun like to adapt to new environment... I'll really take quite a while.. Sian ah!!

And nt sure if I'll have time for my beh beh.. Muz really learn time management very well... But beh beh, if u happen to read this, dun worry ya, we'll still get to meet up very often one k! And dun worry if I get to know new frens ya?! Things between us will not change so easily, ok?! ;P

Expectation

2006-07-18T19:15:00.000+08:00

Why do people expect? Is it so that we will do a better job? Or is it just to make oneself happy?

You know, there can be arguments over this question.. If you dun expect, you will not do well. But if you expect, your expectation might be too high to reach. So how? What is moderate? How do you define that? It's realli nt easy... Everyone has their own expectation and way of looking at things.. How does 2 person with very different personality compromise HAPPILY?? See the caps lock?! Yes, happily.. Without feeling all shitty or forced after compromising... I really wanna learn.. I felt that compromising is kinda difficult for me.. I know it's my problem cuz I am too strong-headed and stubborn... I feel like a man at times.. Cuz I seldom see girls around me behaving like that! I really do have very very bad temper... I really wonder how my family can tolerate me and live with me till today. Sometimes, I really salute them! And it's only recently that I realise that I've always been the fierce "queen" at home.. Even my mum has to give way to me.. And all my siblings too... Why do I say that? Cuz I heard it from my sister.. Surprising, she actually understands me quite alot!

So wat about me being the fierce "queen"?
- Whenever I'm not happy or feeling sian, I won't answer them when they ask a question. They can be standing rite in front of me or purposely enter my room juz to ask me smth, and i'll just ignore them..
- I'll be super unhappy and chase whoever that is in my room out even if they juz wanna watch tv in the room with me..
- I'll not lend anyone of them my stationery or any items on my table to them. But it's also partly becuz they tend to lose whatever I lend them!!
- I'll buy lotsa titbits and instant noodle and keep it in my personal drawers in my room and not tell or allow them to eat..
- If I were to label my stuff in the refrigerator with my name, nobody dares to touch it! And in fact, my elder sis will always use my name and tell my younger sis that it belongs to me. And she will not dare to touch it!

I guess it's about enuff... ;P

~Touched~

2006-07-13T19:25:00.000+08:00

I'm really touched.. My merchant sent me an e-card wishing me all the best for my studies...... I really felt like crying when I receive it.. They are just so so sweet... Aw.. Cannot make it man... They ware really thoughtful.. I only told them I was leaving like hours ago, and in like the next hour, I got the card! You see, it pays to be nice. There are still people out there who appreciates me. They make me feel as if I'm really someone who is of importance to the team.. Thou I'm only my mgrs' support, but at the moment when I read the card, I really felt that I was someone great!!
I hav another colleague, who I only got to talk to him very recent. He wanted to treat me to lunch nx monday!! I hav nt really work with him nor help him b4, yet he wants to treat me to lunch... I really dun tink I shld let him pay.. But my colleague says it's ok.. Cuz he is someone who chooses ppl to give treats to, so i'm the "chosen one".. Haha.. My colleague says maybe he sees me as a nice person.. Oh well, watever it is, Im really touched by all these little gestures from the people I work with...

I tink I'll miss this place... Cuz I'm feeling it already... :(

My thoughts and feelings

2006-07-12T18:38:00.000+08:00

It's a short day today! But i'm still in office.. Going off at the same time.. Gonna go buy dinner and head hm... Had quite a peaceful week at work. Probably I'm leaving, so i'm left out for quite a few things.. Good i guess, at least i get to rush my stuff..

Today, they interviewed 2 candidates.. 1st one wasn't up to their expectation. 2nd one had the relevant experience but they are nt sure if she is comfortable with paperwork. One of my boss actually said that my interview w them was good. And she was actually impressed by me.. Haha.. Felt good when I heard that.. But well, interview, you just gotta do some reading and be prepared.. That's what I did.. Read the book which taught interviewing skills.. Haha.. Smth like a cheatsheet to me but it's kinda helpful!! Actually, im kinda sad to leave.. Nt tt this is a good work place, but since I started working, this is the only place which I could still get along with everyone.. But of course, I did put in quite abit of effort to maintain this r/s and it's really nt easy.. Bankers are known to be cunning ppl and esp in my wk plc.. Sometimes when i tink back, I can't believe I could actually survive for so long in this environment. Cuz it's all about bootlicking, fighting, pushing responsibilities, faking and many many other "survival" skills. And in fact, i grew to get excited and interested in working in this type of environment.. Probably it's really a challenge and I shld really give it a shot while I'm still young!!

Enuff abt work..

Met up with Nad and Diyana yesterday... Main focus was on Diyana.. She is facing a real difficult phase of her life. Why do I say that? Cuz i've been thru it myself.. Looking at her yesterday, I saw a reflection of myself more than 1 yr ago.. Exact same expression. Questions and situations she's in was somehow or rather similar.. I seriously feel how hurt she was.. And there was really nothing either Nad or myself could do to help. All we can do is to be there to listen and advice, listen and support, listen and be there to accompany her and the cycle will keep on repeating itself... Haiz... It's really difficult to stand up after this great fall but if you are able to do that, u will be the bravest person on earth. That's what I feel... And I am proud of myself that I fell badly but still manage to stand up and live a happy life. I'm sure, one day, she will be able to do that 2! Really wish her all the best!!

Well, I hope all who is currently facing problems with relationships, will be strong and learn to face reality. Life definitely has more to offer, it's just waiting for us to discover them, so dun waste it dwelling abt the past and people who are nt worth it! ;P

Down~~

2006-06-30T13:45:00.000+08:00

Finally, my body broke down yesterday... Had a full day of fever.. Feeling damn weak all day long.. No appetite at all.. Only ate some rice and few spoonful of noodles.. And guess what, when i came back to office today, I was shocked to see myself in the mirror! I actually slim down quite abit.. But I know it wont last too long, cuz once I recover, my appetite will be back.. Haiz... Actually I shldn't be in office today but I do not wish to earn lesser, therefore, I drag myself to work.. Still feeling a little feverish and drowsy but still can cope.. It's all becuz of money.. Haiz.. Oh ya, forgot to mention that my last day at work would be on the 21st July 2006!! Then im off this crap place.. Haha..

Mango is having sales now and I bought a top just now.. Haha.. Yeah, I know Im nt feeling well, yet I can still shop.. That's women! And later I might be going for more after work! Haha.. Cuz i wanna get the shorts, it looks really nice and affordable.. Hehe.. But I will hav to curb shopping, cuz i need to save up for studies, if not, darling wil start to nag again... :( He's quite a naggie!! But I'm slowly getting used to it.. Haha..

Alright, have a good weekend everyone! Hope I'll spend this wkend happily and peacefully...

~Photos from Phuket~

2006-06-28T12:32:00.000+08:00

Yup, as promised, photos of the trip to Phuket.. Took me more than a month to upload.. Haha.. Was just too lazy.. And I'm actually stealing office hours to do this.. Haha.. I'm just so bad!! But who cares?! Alright, enjoy the pictures!! :)

~Our plane to Phuket~

~View from the airplane~

~Entrance to Karon Beach Resort~

~View from our room~

~View of the pool from our room~ *miss swimming in the pool...

~Sunset at Karon Beach~ *I was totally amazed when I saw it!!

~A Rock on the Beach~ *taken during low tide..

~Photo taking with one of the "woman" after the Simon Cabaret Show~

~On Karon Beach~ *one of my favourite pic!

~About to rain~ *scary huh!!

~On our way back from Kata Beach~ *see my oily/sticky face?! It's scorching hot!

~Rainbow~ *early morning while having breakfast!

~On our way for our snorkelling trip~

~On the Speedboat to Phi Phi Island~

~Our 1st spot for snorkeling~

~Us in our Snorkelling "suit"~ *so shiok!!

~In the Restaurant~ *taken while waiting for our complimentary dinner!!

~The Cheeky Us~ *taken on a sunny afternoon at Karon Beach

There'll be more to come.. That is after I've uploaded them.. Haha.. Stay Tuned Folks!! ;P

~Quote~

2006-06-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'"

How sweet.. Got this quote from a website.. Is there such a guy? When I read that, I thot of my guy.. He seems to have done the things mentioned.. Let's see..

- Before and after I knew him, I was smone that was attractive to him. He kept telling me I'm beautiful. I wasn't proud of that, instead I was really touched.. He calls me beautiful, it's really incomparable to what others say..

- I haven hang up on him yet, but each time the phone drops off, he calls back. But I ignore him, heartlessly..

- We weren't under the stars but he loves to listen to my heartbeat.. As if it's telling him something..

- He would put me to slp like a mother would to her baby.. He looks at me, pat me lightly and watch me slowly go into a deep slp..

- He kisses my forehead, often than not..

- He brings me to town even if I'm just in shorts and t-shirt and he says I look good..

- He holds my hand even if friends and family are around, all the time..

- He insists seeing me without make up and when he does, he says I still look as pretty without it..

- He reminds me of his care, concern and how much he treasure this relationship every now and then.. Even during quarrels.. He says I'm his lucky star..

- His fren told him I would be the one for him.. And he says he tinks so too..

Thou he seems to have really did those stuff, but does it mean he is the one? I'm not sure.. What do you tink?

Questions...

2006-06-20T15:29:00.000+08:00

If I decide to give up, can I still move on?

It's a tough question.. But wat if I dun do it now and let it drag longer? Won't it be worse? Logically, it will be cuz I've been thru it.. But is this the only way out? No.. Definitely not.. It's just me.. Being the stubborn me, I want things to go my way.. Not that I dun wanna compromise, but I find it difficult and forceful. Y? Y am I not understanding enuff? Wat is wrong with me? Why must all of them realise the same thing after some time? It's scary and eerie.. Problems lies with me. I duno how to solve it. Nothing I do seems to work. How? How? How? U know wat, I shld have stayed to my decision months ago.. I shld nt get swayed away. I know nothing good will come out of it, y insist on trying? I really dun understand myself.. Anyone can understand me? I doubt so... Once again, I wan to use work to numb myself... But I can't do it.. I'm feeling terrible... I can't help feeling miserable, teary, stress-out... It's really nothing big.. Nothing, really... But I'm highly affected.. I really duno what and where things went wrong.. But at this point of time, I feel like "getting it" and I might be free of everything.. Fren said I was crazy and I think I am. If only I could go bonkers now, I really wan.. It's too much for me to handle.. And I'm losing it.. I can't rely on anyone.. I'm on my own once again.. I wan the numb feeling to be back again, so that I could carry on.. Thou pathetic it might sound, it's the best way out now...

Happening Week!!

2006-06-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

It has been a very packed and busy week with activities and lotsa things happening.. Work is as usual but for the past 1 week, I did not stay late at all. Quite amazing! But well, I dun see a need to slog my life for them... And I'm leaving.. Very soon and quite sudden.. Made plans to leave like end of July or even mid aug but now, even before July end, i'll have to leave. I need like about a wk to do some personal stuff... And I'll hav to submit resignation like tomorrow?! Really wasn't part of my plan, but nevertheless, I'm gonna do it!

For the whole of last wk, it was either chilling out with frens in the evening, or if not, it's with darling looking for present for the nephew. And on sat, I finally had a chance to slack whole day at home! But I nv did get enuff slp. Haha.. Wat a pig ya?! And sunday was at darling's sis place.. Well, things did not go smoothly as planned but I still make it there in the end.. Seeing how close they are as a family, I kinda envy but at the same time felt quite "sticky" about it.. Mixed feelings I guess... And Monday, today, I went for my SIM talk. I find the talk kinda interesting thou it's just talking about the course schedule and subjects but I am really looking forward to start studying.. The 1st time sitting in a lecture after graduation.. The feeling is just so "good"! I felt like a student, once again... But as irony it can be, I really enjoy feeling that way! And I can't wait to start going to lectures, tutorials and doing homework! Haha... On my side, I'm a happy person today! With a very good view of my future and very proud of myself cuz I finally know wat I want in my life! But on the other side, darling's family is having quite a difficult and hard time now... Well, things happen and let's hope it won't be something bad.. And for me, I feel for him, and I know I shld try and understand his situation and not make things worse for him.. I really hope I can do.. Cuz it's kinda like a sudden lost of attention, concern, care and time.. I know it'll be over soon.. I just need to bear with it and be understanding! As for myself, I duno how I shld face it if one day, I have to deal with the same problem.. I guess I wont be able to face it as strong as his family does.. But to be positive, let's hope both his family and myself would be fine..

Alright, gonna wash up and go and be a pig! Shall update soon, hopefully with the Phuket pictures! Still trying to upload on Shutterfly.. Haha..

Phuket 13-17 May 06

2006-05-20T11:02:00.000+08:00

Yeah! I'm back from my long-awaited Phuket trip! It was indeed a good one! I really enjoyed myself so much and really wish I dun hav to come back anymore... Haha.. But that is impossible.. The place is so relax, beautiful, happening and fun..... The resort which we stay at was seriously beautiful and their service is good! One real good thing about them is, they are really honest people. Even if they see money lying around in the room, they are not gonna pocket it! When I heard that from my fren, I was pretty shock! Alright, let me summarise what I did in the 5 Days!!

~Day 1~
Wake up at 4am, wash up and left home at about 5.30am. Reach the budget terminal at about 6am. Flight was 7am. Had breakfast at Han's and headed straight for check-in. There was a long quene for boarding of the plane cuz Tiger Airways practice free seating! Lucky for us, we had the window seats! Beautiful scenery all the way to Phuket! Reach Phuket Int'l Airport ard 835am. Hotel staff was already waiting for us with a piece of paper written with both Yueh Rong and my name on it! Was glad that they did not forget us! Haha... Took a 45mins ride from the airport to Karon Beach Resort. The driver was friendly and chatted with us. I was kinda shocked to see that Phuket has quite a bit of resemblence to Malaysia.. Not that backward nor too modern.. You will never feel the stress when u r in that environment. Not too long after the ride, we reach our resort! It was situated in Karon Beach and along a whole stretch of shops and beside it was another resort. The front entrance wasn't that wide but once you enter, you'll be enticed!! Thai decor and the restaurant was right behind the reception with the seaview! Wonderful was the word all of us had!! The counter staff knew very well who we are and proceeded to help us check-in. Everything was very smooth and we were soon led to our room! Hanwei and I knock 3 times on the door together and went in... Beautiful... Wow!! Nicely decorated room with a twin-sharing bed. Full room amenties, with bathtub, towels (2 each), balcony, safe, cupboards, drawers, bathroom slippers, coffee table and tv. Most importantly, the view of our room was superb! All day long, all we see and hear would be the sea and sound of the wave... Nothing else.. After we put our luggauge down, we dash to the balcony, slide open the door and started taking pictures and enjoying the sea breeze. All I could hear Hanwei say is, "It's so relaxing"! Yeah, that's what I felt too... We took a some rest and headed out to explore the little shops and had our lunch at one of the little eatery shop. Food was yummy and not too expensive, thou the serving wasn't much. We booked our complimentary trip to Patong beach the very night after lunch. Before leaving Karon for Patong, we were crazily taking pictures of the sunset. The sunset at Karon was really beautiful! I've never seen such beautiful sunset in my life! It was really amazing... Transport came at 835pm and it'll bring us back at 12am. We reached Patong and it was so different from Karon area. It was brightly litted with lotsa shops, pasar malam kind, bars, pubs, disco.. There were many people thou it was suppose to be low-season! Can't imagine if it was peak season... We went for dinner straight as we did not have a filing lunch! Dinner was western food at Harry's. Service wasn't good and food was average. I guess becuz we are asian, we were not that well taken care of.. Nevertheless, there were still friendly Thais around. After dinner, we just walk around, explore all the shops and tried to find the area where all the nightlife happenings is. We ended up walking one whole big round in Patong and finally found the night spot! Wasn't able to drink as it was time for us to go back. We decided to come again the following night and we did!

~Day 2~
Woke up late and Yueh Rong and Kelvin had already finish their breakfast.. Haha.. Was too tired from all the early waking up and walking ard Patong. Not to forget, we slp very late.. Around 2+ in the morning, everyday... Anyway, Hanwei and I headed for our breakfast. Food was good! I love the pork sausagge!! Straight after breakfast, we went to the beach and swimming pool! Playing on the beach, trying to fight the wave, but ended up get covered up it! It was really fun! The beach was indeed clean and the water is so clear that you can just see where and what you are stepping on! Maybe that's why I dare to go into the sea! Cuz I'm scared that I'll step on some funny creatures in the sea! Haha... Went for a swim after the beach! There's a jacuzzi in the pool and it was great! After hours of fun in the water, we webt back to bathe and headed out to explore and have lunch. We walked all the way to Kata beach which took us about 30mins under the hot, scorching sun!! Kata beach had water sports going on and we saw the 1st nude tanner! Haha... The guys were so happy... We had our lunch at Boathouse which had really nice food and their service was good. One very special thing about the eating culture in Phuket is that, the waiting time for the food would be long but when they serve, they will make sure they serve everyone's food together! So there's no need for us to wait for each other to start eating! We took pictures ard on Kata beach and soon headed back to Karon as we want to book for our snorkelling trip and shows. we went to a agency near to our resort and book 3 different package from there. They were Phuket Fantasea Show, Full Day Phi Phi Island Trip and Simon Cabaret Show. We were suppose to go for the Fantasea Show the very evening but it started to rain, heavily.. We thot we should juz rest early as we still have to wake up very early the next morning for the snorkelling trip. So we cancel the show and stay in the room till the next early morning.

~Day 3~
Woke up at about 6+ in the morning.. Went for breakfast and waited for the transport to pick us up to the pier.... Along the way, the driver also pick-up 2 more people. And that day, we had about 22 people on the snorkelling trip. 2 speedboat and 1 tour guide each. Our tour guide was funny and friendly. He provided us with lotsa information. Din managed to catch his name thou.. The speedboat took about 20mins to reach our 1st destination, part of Phi Phi Lae. There was no island.. And we had to jump from the speedboat into the waters.. The sea was very clear and quite shallow. You can just see what is in the water! I wasn't too sure if I really wanted to jump from the boat but I did anyway.. Haha.. It was really exciting.. The water is cooling... My very first snorkelling experience and use of the snokel mask... Not too used to it thou but manage to snorkel for about 30mins when we were all asked to swim back and headed to the next island, Maya Bay.. At Maya Bay, we had about ah hr to slack around on the beach... It was juz a small beach with nothing but greenery, small mountains, lotsa people and speedboat.. The very first thing we did was to look for toilet! Funny thing was, the toilet was so far away and we actually thot it was open-air!! Haha.. Luckily we asked around and managed to relieve ourselves!! Haha... We went back to the beach and started taking lotsa pictures! After an hr, we went to our 3rd destination on Phi Phi Lae... Another snorkeling place where we had to jump from the boat... The current was quite strong and our tour guide did advise the non-swimmers not to go into the waters if they are uncomfortable... But luckily, they found a calmer spot and we jump into the waters! The corals doesn'seems to have much colours as what we see on TV.. Probably we did not go down closer as we had our life jackets on and it kept us afloat.. But it was pretty much the same kinda "design"! Not much variety of fishes as most of them are tiger fish.. And some silvery fish.. Haha.. Not too sure what is their name... Haha.. After about 30mins, we went back to our boat and it was time to go for lunch at Phi Phi main island, Phi Phi Don. But before we reach the main island, we were brought to two places, one was a little place where cliffs surrounded the place and it looks as if the place was guarded by the cliffs... The other place was somewhr where there are lotsa monkeys on the trees... The monkeys are very clever as they know how to take the bananas and watermelons from us and one even jumped onto the speedboat! Had fun taking photos of them!! After watching the monkeys, we headed for lunch.. It wasn't a happy one for Hanwei.. There were 3 very rude japanese girls which had no eyes for others except for food and themselves... But well, not worth mentioning them here... Lunch was not buffet style but dishes are re-fillable once we finish the plate.. I love the fried onion rings! Haha.. And I finish the whole plate as no one was eating it! Duno why... Hmmm... On Phi Phi Don, we were given 1.30hrs to eat and walk around.. It was really a very small town with only footpaths, no roads... Dun think I saw any cars on the island itself.... And the tour guide told us, the island used to have 2500 locals living on it, but after the tsunami, they are only left with 1500.. It's really sad to hear that... Cuz it's really a small place and 1000 were killed in the terrible tsunami.... But people are living as per normal.. No more sad faces... You'll nv know they were hit with tsunami if you din catch the tsunami news in 2004... Glad that they are re-building their place up fast and live on happily... We shop ard and bought some stuff on the island.. Tried our bargaining skills and it worked well! Haha.. We're so proud of ourselves!! We were told that, after lunch, we were only left with one more island, before we head back to Phuket... And it's the island where we can see our "brothers"! Haha.. That was what our tour guide told us... Brothers as in monkeys! The beach was called Monkey Beach.. As we move into the beach, the monkeys would come out and wait for us. Cuz they know they'll get food! They are quite aggressive when you tried to take food and play with them.. Quite scary as they are only small monkeys.... We were given about an hr to take photos with the monkeys and feed them... We had a choice to slack on the beach, or if not, go snorkel.. Of course we choose snorkelling.. The tour guide told us that "nemo" can be found in this snorkelling spot.. But perhaps, nemo wasn't too happy to see us that day... Cuz we din see any... Instead, we saw nemo's friend, the angelfish... And also a few more other species other than the usual tiger fish.. But the waters here weren't that clear compared to the previous 2 spots... Probably it just rained and it's a beach area... No matter what, we had fun! And not too long later, we were all onboard the speedboat, going to the last island, Phuket... Haha... Our tour guide kept on telling us there is another last island which is Phuket... He's full of humour! Everyone was so tired after a full day of swimming and snorkelling, so we were all aslp during the trip back.. Even on the van ride back to our resort... All of us took a bath as soon as we reach our room. And the very night, we had our complimentary dinner at the resort restaurant.. It was pretty filling and nice food... Friendly staff too... We wanted to explore Karon beach later in the night but it started raining, so we decided to go after the rain.. But we were more tired than anything else, so everything was cancel.. Off we go to dreamland...

~Day 4~
Last day of breakfast in the resort and we finally had a chance to sit together, the 4 of us, to have breakfast.. The past few days, we either sat at different table or if nt, ate at different timing... As today was the last day, we had quite a number of things to do.. Swim, shopping, enjoy our last day, etc... After breakfast, we went for a swim.... And of course our complimentary pool bar drink... Then we headed out to Karon and started to buy souvenirs for everyone... Bought lotsa stuff but most of them are not for ourselves... Haha.. But we had a great time bargaining... Just that it's really hard to decided what to buy.. That's the most problematic part! But everything turn out good as we bought stuff for most of our relatives and friends.. After hours of shopping, we went back to our resort cuz we need to prepare and go for the Simon Carberet show in the evening... We overlooked the time and ended up, had to go for a very quick dinner.. By the time we reach the reception area in the resort, our transport was already there waiting for us.. But he was nice thou... And we were driven out in a jeep! Very nice, big and quiet jeep! Haha... Simon show was somewhere in between Patong and Karon area.. But nearer to Patong and we actually asked the driver to fetch us to Patong instead of back to our resort, so that we could go for our last shopping and drinking session... He was nice enough to accomodate to our request and only asked for additional 100baht for the 4 of us... It was definitely worth it, compared to tuk-tuk.... Simon show was not that exciting as I thot it would be, but you'll be amazed at the fact that they are so "womanly"... But their boobs are kinda fake cuz it looks too round and there seems to be a gap between the boobs and their body... But nevertheless, they are pretty.. Not all thou... Haha.. There were one which I like.. She looks so much like the taiwanese actress, "Da S"... The main actress that acted in "Meteor Garden" with F4... There's another one which look like "Yang Gong Ru", the Hong Kong actress... But when they talked, you'll be turn off... Haha... The show is all about singing and dancing in different language... Nothing very special about it.. But there are a few funny performance where the guys pretend to be girls and tried to make funny faces and had more contact with the audience. Overall, the 1.15hrs show wasn't that boring... We went to Patong beach and had our last round of shopping before trying to find some tiger show... Haha... Finally had our shopping list all ticked off and we headed for our long-awaited tiger show... There were guys asking people in to watch their shows... And we were brough to one place, which I can't remember the name.. The show was kinda disgusting for me but it's amazing how they managed to do it... But the gals that did the stunts were erm... Not trying to be bad but they are kinda fat n ugly... Haha... We only stayed there for about 15mins and left... Cuz each girl was doing the same stunts... We wanted to eat at "The Pizza Company" but was left with very little money... So we wanted to go to Mcdonalds but it was too far away.. So we asked ard and ended up in Subway.. Each couple had a meal but din talk much as we were really really exhausted... We are just waiitng for our transport to come and fetch us back to slp.... We fell aslp as soon as we were on our bed....

~Day 5~
Early morning, we were already on our way to the airport... Had our breakfast, which was prepared by the hotel to us in the airport... Waiting for our flight back to Singapore.. Not that excited at all... Haha... Guess that's the norm....

Whew! Long long blog... 1st ever in my life!! Will upload the photos in another post!! Stay tuned!!

Short Short Day..

2006-05-08T19:56:00.000+08:00

It's monday! No monday blues... Lucky me! Just felt that time passes really fast today.. Been quite a while since I had this feeling.. I guess it's good cuz I dun hav to keep waiting for time to pass. Mayb becuz work is really too much. So much so that I wanna finish almost everything before I leave... And it's only monday but my mgrs are already planning lotsa stuff for mi to help out with b4 I can go on leave.. How "clever" huh! Well, nothing I can do... Juz work and work and hope for my last day to come very soon.... Yup! I'm gonna resign very soon... Probably after my trip.. Wonder wat would happen to them.... Haha... Nvm, shall update the situation again very soon!!

Yeah, I'm going to Phuket! Haha.. Duno how many times I've mentioned that.. Haha.. Can't wait for sat!! Haha... Shall update about the trip when I'm back!! Hehe..

Kk, nd to go work! Else can't go home!! Update soon...

pHuKeT!!

2006-04-30T11:08:00.000+08:00

Yeah! Just another 2 weeks!! 2 weeks and i'm outta Singapore in Phuket! I really can't wait.. Since mar till now, both me and darling have been wanting to go away so much.. Finally, it's coming! Hehe... We have finally booked and secure our accomodation so now it's only planning the itenary! And yueh rong and husband-to-be is also joining us on the trip! Haha.. Wat a surprise! So we are travelling in a group of 4, so we can help each other take photos.. Hehe... So so so looking forward to 13 May!!

Other than Phuket trip, I'm also waiting anxiously for SIM acceptance letter.. I'm even dreaming that I got the package.. Haha.. Probably I'm really thinking too much.. But I guess I just very excited to go back to school.. Cuz I really feel like taking a break from work.. Esp in Citi.. Nt ez at all.. But I'm glad tt i've build up quite a network of relationship there and nobody hates me (i guess)..

~~A little message to my Dearest Beh Beh~~
Glad that we've manage to survive the bad times and ur patience and tolerance is really appreciated! I can really see that you are surpressing your anger/"APness", trying to be nice to me.. Really appreciate it and thank you for that! U're really the sweetest guy I've ever met! "Ni ai wo wor"!! Hehe..

Tired + Lazy = Me

2006-04-13T19:07:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. Like the title says.. I'm tired and lazy.. Back aching badly.. Im realli old... In the past, I could still tk it but not now anymore...

It has definitely been a long long time since I've felt tis way.. Yes, broke down but tried to control.. Luckily I had Nad with mi to hear mi out.. I guess she feels my pain.. I had a conclusion that all guys are the same. When things happen, they say the same words, react the same way.... I thot he was really different from the past ones but he's just another one of them. Saying sweet nothings to mi!? I'm not gonna buy tt! I'm no little innocent, naive ger here.. I've been thru quite alot and I know what is what.. I dun appreciate sweet talks at all! It's all crap to mi. If u mean it, show it to mi... To hell with all ur sweet words.. I hate it! I tink guys will never understand how gers feel and tink.. Mayb gers too... We will always be 2 very different beings.... And when 2 are too different, it's really hard to be together.. I seriously dun wanna try so hard, put in so much effort to mk it work. Mayb i'm selfish as many will say so, but I'm juz protecting myself. I nv ever wanna b a fool again..

I really feel so sianz...... Work and Him.. I hav to learn how to manage and handle both.. It's really not easy and I feel so tired.. At work, I have to put up with the bitches.. After work, sometimes, I have to learn to accomodate, give in, compromise with him. Sometimes, I am just too numb and tired to get angry with anyone of them. I'll just swallow it and go to slp.. Mayb tt's y the stress and anger has been building up, just like hot lava.. And today, it's the day of eruption! I suddenly become so emotional, stress and tired that I feel I'm basically floating....

I'm really tired..

Life..

2006-04-07T14:13:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. Wat about life? Life consists of so many people, decisions, choices, activities, etc etc.. As you grow older, u face so much more.. Sometimes, I really would rather be a kid. I believe most of you reading this would think tt way... Those that are pessimistic might just tink that dying earlier would be good too! Haha..

Oh well, life for me ever since the start of 2006 was not too bad.. But lotsa turning point i guess.. From single to attached, from 1/2 yr contract to 1 yr contract, from fatter to slimmer(i tink so), from less work to more work, etc.. Work still plays a very impt and big part of my life.. Cuz mon-fri, im facing it! And it has brought me the most headache and pain.. And now, again, I have to tink.. To study or to stay for another unconfirmed role in work. Both has its own pros and cons.. I really duno wat to choose.. Both are so unconfirmed and in the initial stage.. How should I grab both opportunities? I dun tink I can.. Cuz I can't afford to be greedy and want the best of both world... Haiz... Advices from colleague and bf, both are useful.. But one was harsh and kinda pissed mi off! But well, I shld not let my stuff affect the relationship I have with people... I shld control my temper and forget bout the whole conversation...

But these few days, everything wasn't going too smoothly for us.. Ever since the chalet, disagreement starts.. Mayb it's becuz we start to know each other better and wants the best 4 both but it's just disruptive!

"it"

2006-01-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

I think I should not fall into it.. It just doesn't feel right.. If only I could stop myself from falling deeper into it, I would be happier.. But it was U who wanted me to trust and give but I dun feel tt everything's working fine when I tried.. Apparently, I'm not anything to you like wat you said.. Cuz I dun feel I'm smone special to U at all!! I'm just too naive to believe in "it" again.. No one will ever treat me the right way anymore.. Since it's only the beginning, I shall just let it be something extra in my life.. I dun tink I wanna commit to "it" cuz I dun tink I'm happy anyway... Maybe I am too petty, sensitive and expect 2 much.. But I guess, it's the only way I can protect myself.. If you dun meet up to my standard, I'm sorry... I'm now a selfish being cuz I never want to be the fool again..

I'm glad I'm leaving for a break.. So I can take a break from this crap!

Happy??

2006-01-22T20:05:00.000+08:00

I really duno if I'm happy? Mayb i'm PMSing but even is that's the case, I should be happy.. I mean, if it was u, u would be.. Haiz.. But I'm not ready.. But when will I ever be ready? Hurt too deep and badly? I'm not sure.. But I just feel weird and messy.. I can feel the tangles in me.. Probably I'm just not used to it for now... Mayb 1 day I'll just fall deeply into it once again... But I hope I wont cuz I'm afraid it'll eventually end again.. I really really really really dun wanna go thru those "shit times" once more! Haiyo, I still tink "kill me now" suits my mood!! So confuse!! Argh!! :(

I hope my coldness towards him will go away soon.. I seriously dun wanna hurt someone who is such a nice guy! Haiz... I dun tink I deserve anyone ah.. Cuz i might just end up hurting them with my own fears and attitude... But he seems to be able to take in whatever I told him.. Izit for real? Doesn't he mind? I did question him but he just said, he'll do his best.. How sweet rite? Haiz, but to me, it's more of guilt and pressure... Oh no.. I'm so emotional again... Has been a long time since this happens..

Maybe today is just not my day?! Hope so...

I think...

2006-01-17T23:19:00.000+08:00

I think I'm in it again.. I really think I am.. So should I stop thinking and act on it or am I only just thinking in my own world, thinking it's happening?! Aiyah, I really duno man! Shrucks!! Should just let it b and STOP thinking!!

But I'm still thinking.. if.. maybe.. but..

New Year!! New Hope!!

2006-01-05T18:55:00.000+08:00

It's a brand new year again.. 2006.. Had quite a good start but do not know if it will last.. But watever it is, I am kinda happy since day 1 of 2006! Haha.. Sometimes, I wonder if i'm dreaming.. Things can happen so fast till I'm really caught unaware! But mayb it will go as fast as it came.. Oh well, i'm just negative, very..

A piece of good/bad news!! I'm renewing my contract till end of the year and had a pay increment.. Happy that my pay has finally increase but i will have to be stuck in "shitty bank".. Wonder if i can take it!! Haha... Not that the work sucks but with the kinda "great" colleagues, it sure makes a big difference!!

I'm thinking... Should I let it happen or stop it now? Will history repeat itself? Or something worse will happen? And is it really true or just for fun? Wat if i fail again? Oh no... So much headache... Should just let nature takes it's course but you know.. the heart and mind just won't co-operate!! Not good at all! Cuz it's definitely affecting me in watever I do... Tried to work and work, but doesn't seems to help... Hmmm... How how??? How I wish it did not even happen, at least i'm still carrying on as usual.. Aiya, confusing.. But I think it all just comes down to one word "FEAR"!! Wonder how and when it will go away..

2005-11-23T13:04:00.000+08:00

Super cold.. Forgot my jacket.. Am freezing in the damn office!! Did not go lunch cuz juz wasn't in the mood.. Am having very bad temper for the past few days.. Muz be the PMS!! But it hasn't happen in a long long time already.. Duno wat triggered it.. Am juz unhappy with every little thing.. Had vent my anger on the phone with nad and weiling, but doesn't help much.. Irritating!!

Maybe tt someone is the cause of it! I hate it when i get the messages.. I duno wat to do.. Reply or not? I want to but I know I'm not ready yet.. So I have to force myself not to reply.. Weiling say, just reply if you want to.. But I know I will be sad if I do so.. And I really do not want to start all over again.. Haiz.. Why can't you just leave without a trace? I guess I would be better.. And I do not want to say it to your face cuz in the first place, you were the one who wanted to go...

"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."

2005-11-20T17:32:00.000+08:00

New template.. i like the name.. Ghost of you..

Had a sweet and weird dream yesterday.. Dreamt of both of us.. Thou it was only the process, it was so nice and sweet.. For a moment, i thot it was for real.. It's definitely a nice feeling! But dream and reality is always the opposite.. So I know it will never happen.. But after this dream, I realise, maybe I could really start anew.. Of course I do hope I can.. But how and where to start? I really duno..

Recently, "life w/o a meaning" feeling is getting stronger and stronger.. Getting super sian with life.. Everyday the same thing, same ppl, same process.. No excitement at all.. Loneliness everywhere.. How to deal with it? I duno.. Am just losing it.. As much TV as I can get, it doesn't drive away the devil.. Haiz.. Sad life.. How much longer should I spend my life w/o happiness? Am I only suited to find happiness in dreams? If so, I would rather slp my life away...